“But what about this morning?” he asks, sounding almost like a regular guy. “You acted like you cared about me, like you wanted this.”
“I’ve changed my mind,” I say, trying desperately not to break down or show any weakness in my lies. “This has all been a big wakeup call. I want my freedom from the mafia more than I want to be with you. If you don’t help me escape, then you’ll just have to trap me here against my will just like my father did.”
That last part was a blow to his character, and I can see by his grimace that it stung. It was supposedto sting. It’s the only way I’ll get him to let me go without trying to stop me. The further away from Christian I can get, the safer he’ll be. My father can’t use me as leverage against him if I’m no longer here.
Christian doesn’t answer me at first and I can see he’s wounded in more ways than just physically. He looks exhausted as he sits down on the bed and tilts his head back against the headboard. I don’t press him further right now. I get a damp cloth and a first aid kit from the bathroom and help him remove his shirt to tend to his wounds as much as I can. While his men guard the perimeter, Christian falls asleep even as I bandage him up. Heartbreak and bruised ribs bring down even the most notorious of beasts. Yet I know that Christian isn’t a beast at all. Ester was right, he’s my brutal hero.
I sit there staring at him and my eyes well up with tears. I cry quietly so that I don’t wake him. While he sleeps, my eyes trace each muscle, thinking about this morning when I was lying under him, running my hand around every curve. I felt so safe in his arms and now I’m about to leave that safety forever. I can’t believe that just a few nights ago, all I wanted to do was run away from Christian Greco, and now my heart is breaking because that’s exactly what I’m about to do.
I sit there beside him on the bed without moving, savoring my last few hours with him. When he wakes, I stand firm once more and I don’t bend. I repeat my intent to leave both New York City and him. I even act like I despise him for having nearly risked my life. “What were you doing when the attack happened on the apartment?” I ask in an accusatory tone. “If you had been here fulfilling your promise to keep me safe, then maybe none of this would have even happened. Maybe Ester would still be alive.”
Finally, looking desperate and exasperated, Christian concedes. “Fine,” he says without fanfare. “I’ll help you leave the city if that’s what you truly want.”
I almost can’t believe he’s agreeing to it. I’m surprised because I thought he’d fight it more, and it makes me even more saddened to leave. I have to bite my cheek to keep myself from starting to cry. I feel foolish because I know that my father and his new friends will come for Christian regardless. But at least if I’m not here, Christian will be focused on winning, and on keeping himself and the people in hisborgatasafe, instead of worrying about me.
“We’ll leave tonight,” he says. “I’ll escort you myself.” With that, he stands up from the bed to leave. It’s not without effort, and from the small groan he makes when he moves to get to his feet, I can tell he’s still in a lot of pain. After he walks into the hall, closing the door behind him without looking back, I smash my face in the pillow and cry. What is it about this room and so much misfortune? I guess I won’t have to worry about that for much longer, because in a few hours I’ll never be coming back here again.
12
CHRISTIAN
I might be a bit banged-up, but I’m still tough as nails. The surprise attack by Roman and his gang, and their traitorous alliance with Valentino Ricci, only makes me even more hellbent on destroying them both. They haven’t broken me; they’ve only emboldenedme to crush them. But what’s been truly damaged is my heart. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure I had one until Lara, and now I wish I didn’t.
I scold myself as I walk away from her room and remind myself that this is exactly why I don’t allow myself to care about anyone ever. Here I was, out there putting together some big romantic gesture, only to come back and find that Lara is all too quick to abandon me just as soon as she gets scared. Granted, the attack on the apartment was brutal, and the loss of Ester cuts me deeply. But that’s no reason to run and hide. It disgraces Ester’s memory not to avenge her death, and it certainly casts light on the fact that I was a fool to think that Lara could actually love a man like me and stand beside me when things get tough.
If this is what Lara wants, then so be it. I can turn my emotions cold as ice and harden my heart to her just as quickly as when I first brought her back here to begin with. I won’t even try to keep her here with me anymore, because she’s a distraction I can’t afford. Even though my feelings for her prove pesky to rid myself of, I’ll force myself to forget about Lara and protect her only up until she’s out of the city, as a favor to Loreto. Then, Lara Ricci is on her own. I’ll protect only what’s mine—myborgata, my assets—and notLara. She’ll no longer be of any concern to me. I say it in my head and try to convince myself I believe it, too.
I hold my hand pressed against the side of my bruised ribs to dull the pain as I go talk to my crew. Most of my men are gathered in the kitchen talking, and as soon as I get there, we start to assemble a plan to deal with the Hell’s Devils and what remains of Valentino’s crew. Loreto has completely disassociated himself from his father now, which has kept him on the good side of the rest of the Ricci family, who otherwise are not too happy with Valentino turning rogue like this, bringing a lot of heat on them without first asking permission. That means that as soon as Lara’s clear of the city, there’s nothing stopping me from launching a full-on war against Valentino and the Hell’s Devils.
As always, my men are with me. Each and every one of them would follow me into any scenario I deemed necessary. This plan might cross lines that can’t be uncrossed, but Roman and Valentino brought this on themselves. After all of the details are set, I take a moment to wash down a few painkillers with a swig of whiskey. I need to be able to move without feeling as if my body is rebelling in order to fight. Matteo pops my shoulder back in but it’s still sore, and the rest of me feels as if I’ve been through a meat grinder. It doesn’t matter, though, because business needs to be taken care of. I’ll rest and heal when it’s all over.
I walk back to Lara’s bedroom and find her still sitting on the bed when I open the door. “I’ve come to collect you,” I say as she slowly stands and wipes her face with the back of her sleeve. She looks like she’s been crying, and I want to ask her why, but I don’t. “I’m going to escort you out of the city now. Let’s go.”
13
LARA
While the rest of hisborgatais prepping for the big fight they’re about to engage in, Christian and I quietly slip out. “Are you sure this is wise?” I ask, noting that the two of us are all alone and relatively unprotected. I wouldn’t put it past Christian to be able to fight off an entire mob all by himself, but seeing as he’s still recovering from his earlier injuries, I don’t think he’s up for much of a fight. I feel a little bit like we’re a walking target alone out here together, even though we left under the cover of darkness in the middle of the night.
“Only Loreto and Matteo know I’m leaving,” he says without turning his face to look at me. He hasn’t looked at me hardly at all ever since I told him that I wanted to leave. “The biker gang no doubt thinks I’m recovering from the beating they levied against me, and I’m sure Valentino is expecting me to abide by theborgaterules of war.”
I think I believe him, and I’m unsure whether my father would think that Christian would go to such lengths to protect me. I’ve always backed down against my father, so he no doubt believes his threat worked and that I’ll be running far away from here. Whether or not he intends to turn his cheek and let me is an unanswered question.
The plan is for Christian to drive me up to Yonkers, at which point he’s arranged for a driver to then take me all the way to Woodstock upstate. I didn’t get to go to the festival (you try telling Valentino Ricci that his 21-year-old daughter is off to spend a weekend naked in the woods with a quarter-million other hippies), but the movie made me fall in love with the small town, and whenever I dream about getting away I always end up dreaming about a cute little farmhouse up there, with a tire swing and a picket fence and the whole shebang. We reach the meeting point without incident and Christian hands me an envelope full of cash. “Use this money to start your new life, Lara.” I hesitate to take it, so he reaches for my purse and slips it inside. As we approach the car that plans to whisk me away, I realize I can’t just leave letting Christian think I don’t care about him. What does it matter now that I’m about to be gone for good? At least I want to tell him how I feel before I go. I turn around to face him before I reach the black car with tinted windows waiting for me. “I love you, Christian,” I say as tears fill my eyes. “I just needed you to know that before I left.”
He looks visibly confused and conflicted. “But I thought you didn’t want to be with me. Why in the world would you say that now? And why would you be leaving if that’s true?”
But before I can say anything else, the driver betrays us. It all happens so quickly that I can’t react to anything in time. I see the horrified look on Christian’s face, and then turn quickly around to see what he is looking at. I catch sight of the driver holding a gun aimed directly at me. The sound of a gunshot echoes through the still night air, and I’m surprised at how fast after the sound I feel the sharp, burning pain in my shoulder. The pain radiates down my arm and throughout my chest, making it impossible to recognize where I’ve been hit. I look down and see blood start to soak through my shirt and I press my hand against the place where the pain started. Then, I turn back around to Christian as if I expect him to somehow make all of this stop.
Somewhere in the space of the next few seconds, the driver shoots again, but Christian pushes me out of the way. Everything starts to look blurry and the black pavement on the ground gets closer to my face as I feel myself falling. For the second time, I feel Christian’s strong arms catch me right before my head cracks against the ground. As he holds me, he reaches to pull out his gun, aiming it at the car that was supposed to be my ride to freedom, and shoots. The sound of the gunshot so close to my ear is the last thing I hear before blackness takes over.
14
CHRISTIAN
No one betrays me. Or at least, no one ever has until tonight. And this guy won’t live to regret it.
I hold Lara in my arms as I aim my gun at the driver and shoot before he can get another shot in. My aim is better than his, piercing through his chest and dropping him instantly. As soon as I’ve eliminated that threat, I pick Lara up and carry her quickly over to the car. I kick the dead body away from the tire where he fell and get a good look at his face—he’s not one of mine. Someone knew what we were doing. The guy has the Hell’s Devils insignia tattooed on his wrist. The whole thing was a setup, and I’m starting to realize that I’ve been underestimating their ability to put together a plan.