Page 44 of Rewrites of the Heart

“Even if I do, I can’t show them. We work together.”

“That’s just a flimsy excuse,” Blake said. “You know full well that’s not the reason you’re flummoxed like you are.”

“I am not flummoxed.” JJ’s high-pitched voice startled her. Then she looked at Alex and asked out loud, “Flummoxed? Where did you get that word?”

“From our book. Chapter six, to be exact. When Alex’s old love comes to town and her feelings are torn between him and me. She was flummoxed.”

The author squinted her eyes, trying to switch gears thinking back to the novel.

“I do believe you’re right, Blake. She was flummoxed, wasn’t she?”

“People, let’s focus here. The issue at hand is not my flummoxing,” Alex said, attempting to re-direct the conversation back to JJ. “Right now, we’re discussing JJ’s apparent horror at actually kissing a man. That’s much more interesting to talk about.”

“No, it definitely is not,” JJ said. She paused a beat before adding, “More importantly, it’s not a good position to be in, professionally speaking.” She kicked off her shoes, re-positioned herself, then brought her feet up on the couch and tucked them underneath her.

“To bloody hell with professionally speaking,” Blake spewed out. “In the short time we’ve been observing you from the pages of your own world, so to speak, you have not allowed yourself one moment of pure pleasure, doing something just for yourself. You have to be dragged out of the house to actually interact with real people on any regularity. Face it, you were afraid of stepping out of your snug, secure cocoon. The truth of the matter is you’re not really living.”

Alex bolted upright from the arm of the chair. “Why Blake Teesdale, I didn’t know you had such keen powers of observation when it comes to reading people. I’m not only impressed, I’m extremely proud of you.”

She strode up to him, leaned over the palm of his costume, and kissed him on the cheek.

Blake not only beamed, he blushed. “So, let’s get down to the nitty gritty as they say. What exactly do you think is the cause of your flummoxed state?”

When his question was met with a stare, Alex said, “Let’s phrase it this way. What were you feeling when you kissed Kenn?”

“Aside from an incredible sexual urge to disrobe him right in the stadium,” he suggested.

“Blake!” JJ and Alex both shouted at him.

He placed a hand on his hip. “You probably were feeling it. I know I was when kissing Alex in that scene in chapter seven…”

“Blake!”

“Now, back to the question at hand.” Alex tried to refocus the conversation again. “I know this sounds personal. But if you can’t talk to us, JJ, who can you talk to?”

A weak smile crossed her mouth. Certainly, these two were closer to her than even her own sister. “Well, the thought momentarily did cross my mind of dragging him behind the stadium…”

“La, la, la,” Blake said, as he covered his ears. Alex laughed and JJ joined in.

“You were the one who brought up the subject,” his girlfriend said.

JJ continued. “It was an exciting feeling, that’s for sure. And if you want to know the truth, it felt quite liberating.”

Alex sat down next to her on the couch and gave her what could only be described as a motherly look. “Great. So, what’s the problem?”

She unfolded her legs and stood. She sighed deeply, then paced. “The truth is,” she said quietly. “I’m scared. I haven’t felt like this in ages. And, well,” she paused and turned to look at Alex. “I’m concerned I’m setting myself up for a real heartbreak here. Unlike your love story, mine might not end in a happily-ever-after. I might never find another Geoff St. Clair. Then what do I do?”

“You pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again,” sang Blake.

JJ groaned.

“Okay, so in a song it sounds, well, Pollyannaish,” Blake defended himself. “But isn’t that exactly how you go through life? You encounter the good and the bad. The pleasant and the unpleasant. But you just keep going. You cherish the good and learn from the mistakes and the misfortunes. You certainly don’t cut yourself off from the world.”

She stopped pacing, turned toward Blake, hands on hips. “Do you really think that’s what I’ve been doing?”

The silence echoed throughout the room.

“Aha!” Blake hurriedly wiggled out of his mascot costume and tossed it on the recliner.

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