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Even so, my skin felt irritated at just the thought. My fingers opened and closed in anger at my sides. I couldn’t bear being trapped inside one of those things or feeling it burn against my skin. Not again.

I joined a line of soturi and signed in, noting the place from the previous night where Haleika had forged my signature. The line continued up into the seats surrounding the arena, though I spotted a few soturi heading back out to the silver circles.

“Lyriana, wait!” shouted a voice with a northern lilt.

I froze and turned slowly to face Rhyan.

I shook my head. Apprentices weren’t scheduled to watch our clinic for weeks. “What are you doing here?”

“I…I was worried about you,” he admitted. “So I came.”

“Worried I’d make you look bad?” I asked.

“Lyr,” he said gravely. “No.”

Something in the seriousness of his words and expression cut through me, and dread began roiling inside me. There was some fact I’d forgotten to check.

His nostrils flared, and he pulled me aside, down an abandoned hallway, into a darkened corner. I was backed against its stone wall, away from everyone else’s prying eyes and ears. His arm shot forward, his hand pressed against the stone beside me, essentially trapping me.

“You skipped the first night, didn’t you?” he practically snarled as he spoke, his breath hot against my ear.

“Yes.”

“You lied to me!”

“Yes,” I admitted. “But so what? It’s one night. I’m here now! I—”

“I knew it!” He threw his head back and groaned. “Godsdamn it, Lyr! If you’d gone Monday, you’d have seen the schedule for the week.”

“Why would I need to see the….” My heart raced. The truth of what I’d been realizing for the last minute was starting to come into the light. Shit.

“Aemon wanted to put you in the middle of a five the first week.”

A five? Me? No. I couldn’t breathe. I was—I was going to be in the center of a five? Tonight? Trapped inside one of those Godsdamned silver bindings while five soturi attacked me?

“No! Why? I’m not ready. I can’t…. He knows I’m not strong enough yet!” I shook my head. “Why would he do this to me?”

“He’s trying to help you. It’s week one. The novices you’re up against have the least training right now that they’ll ever have. They’re also not as strong as they’re going to be. It’s your best chance to come out of the fight unscathed.”

“Because even if I train, I still don’t stand a chance?”

Rhyan shook his head, his eyes narrowed. “No one has said that. Aemon had to throw a bone to the Imperator. He’s noting every clinic you’re not active in. And you not showing up Monday…it should be no big deal, but it won’t be to him. Aemon’s doing this to protect you.”

“Fuck.” The ceiling filled with the sound of stomping feet as the rest of the soturi raced to find seats for the clinic.

“When you said you were fine today, I knew…. I should have checked and made sure you were ready. Myself to Moriel. I knew it. Knew you still didn’t respect the chain of command. And I was busy trying to—fuck. It doesn’t matter now.” He shook his head, his eyes blazing, the muscles in his arm straining. “Don’t lie to me again.”

“I had my reasons.”

He leaned forward, his forehead inches from mine, his musky scent enveloping me in the heat. “You think the Emperor gives a damn about your reasons? The Imperator?”

I held my stance, refusing to back down, refusing to let Rhyan throw me any more off balance than I was. “I’m doing what I have to do!”

He shook his head in disgust. “You told me you were going to take this seriously.”

“I am!”

“Showing up when you’re supposed to is taking this seriously! Not fucking lying to me on day one.”