Page 170 of Lady of the Drowned Empire
“You’re doing a little more on that end than I am.”
Rhyan pushed his knee between mine, tangling our feet together, stirring more heat between us. “You’re worth it.”
“Am I? I feel like I keep screwing everything up. And you’ve sacrificed so much to be with me. To help me. And I’m here, not even….”
“Not even what?” he asked softly as he brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, only slightly damp now.
“I don’t know. I’m freaking out about being exposed, and then making decisions that get us into trouble, or hurt…and I’m still keeping our relationship from…being more.”
“Lyr, things happen on the road. Do you know how many times I’ve fucked up? Or was hurt? You’re doing really well. And…I don’t need anything like that from you, especially with the stress you’re under. Remember what I said on Valyati? Before everything happened? Holding your hand was the best gift I’d ever been given. And make no mistake. I want you. I want you so fucking bad that sometimes I feel like I’ll die from desire. But if all I was going to have in this life was touching your hand, that would have been enough. That would have been a moment I treasured my entire life. There’s nothing you need to be doing. No timeline. No rules to follow. No expectations. Just whatever you want, and when you want it.”
My breath came fast. “I think sometimes I still feel like I’m failing everyone. Letting everybody down. In all ways. All the ways it counts. I’m failing my sisters. Failing Bamaria. I could be failing,” my throat dried, “her.” I couldn’t say Jules. Not now. “And tonight, I feel like I should have been faster. I should have realized the danger, not forced you to risk your life like that.”
“Oh, partner. You couldn’t be further from the truth. I know the life you lived made you feel like you had to be perfect. Like you had something to prove. But that’s not it, not how I see you. If you want me to spell it out for you, I will. Whatever is getting into your head right now, it doesn’t need to be there. So here it is.” He sucked in a breath. His eyes were so green as they stared into mine. “I loved you the first time I kissed you and you didn’t know how to kiss me back. I loved you when your confidence grew and you took control and left me wild and full of need. I loved you when you didn’t know how to move against my body to take your pleasure. And I loved you when your hips rolled against mine and made my cock so hard, I thought I’d burst against that tree.
“I’ve loved you when you’ve dressed up in your jewels with your hair curled and shiny, your eyes dark with make-up, and your lips red as berries. And I’ve loved you when you wake up in the middle of the night, your hair messy, your face bare, and your jewels off.
“I’ve loved you when you’ve water danced, your hips moving so sinuously, I could stare at them all day. And I’ve loved you when you could barely run without a cramp. I loved you when every sword fell from your hand. When you grew the strength to hold one. When you were a little girl who thought I was a rude nuisance and you still let me sit with you and share cake and stories. And when you were a woman, smart and kind and beautiful. I’ve loved you when your skin smells like vanilla and musk. And when you smell like vomit because you made yourself sick from fighting. I loved you when you saved me from the nahashim. And I loved you when I stormed into the keep to get you back.
“I loved you when your sword pierced through that fucking asshole who touched you. And I loved you when I slayed his wolves for daring to look upon you.”
Tears filled his eyes. His voice had gone hoarse, and I felt my own heart pounding, swelling. My entire body vibrating with love, with his love, and mine for him, his essence, his heart.
“Do you get it yet? Lyr, I love you. In all your forms and all your stages. And I always will. No matter what you do. No matter what you give me.”
I traced the line of his scar, my finger skimming down the contour of his cheek and jaw then up to his lips. “What if I want to give you all of me?”
“Then I’d give you myself in return.”
My heart was beating a rhythm loud enough to burst through my chest, my stomach fluttering, and yet a feeling of peace had suddenly washed over me. A certainty. A knowing. A confidence I hadn’t expected. I trusted Rhyan implicitly, loved him so much, and wanted him just as badly as he wanted me.
“Rhyan.” My voice was barely above a whisper. “I love you. I don’t want to spend one more night not knowing what it’s like to experience this with you.”
His eyes searched mine, vulnerable, questioning.
“I can’t go one more night not knowing you, not joining my body to yours.”
“Lyr, you…you almost drowned earlier. And you…you’ve been through so much.” His chest was rising and falling against my own—against my bare breasts, which now felt full, my nipples peaked not from the cold but from wanting. The buds were sensitive rubbing against him, and heat was coiling through me, surging between my legs. Maybe in a perfect world we would have been doing this for a long time already. And maybe in the world we were in, it would have taken me weeks, months or more, to get past what had happened at the keep. But we were here now, and everything felt suddenly perfect. I knew exactly what I wanted, beyond any reason, any doubt.
His eyes were hooded, dark with desire as he watched me, still so vulnerable, so unsure.
“Rhyan, I want you—more than anything. I’ve never been more positive. And because of everything I’ve been through…. That’s why I can’t wait. I feel fine. Thanks to you. Always thanks to you.”
He closed his eyes, his breaths heavy, a flush spreading through his chest and neck. His grip on me tightened, his fingers pressing into my flesh with want, with possession. But also, with love. The way he managed to convey all of those things at once, that was exactly why I wanted him. Needed him.
Rhyan groaned, his jaw working. “I want you. I’ve wanted you for so long. But don’t…don’t make this choice out of fear. Or because you fear tomorrow.”
I kissed him, moving my lips softly against his. He was still, letting me be in control, letting me set the pace. But I was hungry, full of need and desire, and I deepened the kiss. My tongue stroked his, and I kissed him until he gasped for breath.
“This isn’t out of fear,” I said in between kisses. “This is out of love. This is because I want you. I always have. You took possession of me that night all those years ago. That kiss…that sealed it for me, too. It just took me longer to remember. But for me, Rhyan, it’s always been you.” I kissed him again, and this time he kissed me back with a ferocity that left me panting. His hands tangled in my hair and cupped my cheek, his body straining to be closer to mine. His cock stiffened, thick and hard, pressing against my belly.
Rhyan groaned into my mouth and angled my head up, kissing down my jaw to my neck, grinding into me, gently rolling me onto my back. His body slid over mine, his arousal causing friction between my legs that left me moaning and desperate for more. The heat he offered me left me nearly delirious with pleasure after having been so cold.
“Are you sure,” he panted, kissing me again, “this is what you want?”
I was slick with need, could feel it coating my sex. I undulated up, rubbing myself along his length, rolling into him so he could feel just how sure I was.
“You feel that?” I asked, my voice husky as I pulled him down to me. “How wet you make me? I want you inside me. Rhyan, please. Fuck me.”
