The Imperator laughed. “You remind me so of the Lady Julianna,” he said. “Ah, the temple is before us. I hardly noticed we finished our ride.” He winked again. “I found my present company so entertaining.” He sat back up, leaning in closer than before, his leg now pushing mine back. “You?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“What a good little daughter of the Empire. And, my lady, if you change your mind about wanting marriage, I am to be the first to know. Your sisters’ safety will be tied up in your match.” He glanced over at Tristan and Naria then back to me, smirking. “You can tell me. You never really wanted Lord Tristan, did you?”
The backs of my eyes burned as our litter was lowered to the ground. The Imperator stood at once, extending his hand for me to take.
I stared at it, my chest heaving with nervous, panicked breaths, and he waggled his fingers impatiently in my face. When was it going to end? When was he going to finally leave me alone? I didn’t want to touch him, to feel him on me for one second. I didn’t want to accept his help, not even for this. But I’d been given no choices today. Spared no humiliation.
I took his hand as I stood. His grip was painfully tight and his skin sickeningly soft, reminding me of his fingers on my back, within my torn tunic, my torn bandages, my torn wounds. My stomach roiled, and my skin crawled.
A field of snow-covered grass stood before me, the Temple of Dawn in the center. Resembling a seven-pointed star from above, it was made of seven distinct rays—each one assigned a color relating to the shards of the Valalumir. We stood before the Red Ray and its door which, until recently, had always been private to Ka Batavia.
Arkmage Kolaya stepped outside it just then, her white robes contrasting against the red door, her face solemn.
I suspected the remainder of the ritual was meant to take place inside—nearly all of our ceremonies did. But it had only been three days since the akadim attack. The sanctuary had been all but destroyed from the fight and carnage. With magic, it would be fully restored, but the sanctuary was huge, and with all the chaos of losing an arkasva, it was probably still a few days from complete restoration.
“You will not mind me walking you there, will you?” the Imperator asked.
The backs of my eyes burned with tears. “Not at all.”
“Shall we then, my lady?” He released my hand, fitting it into the crook of his arm as if he were a gentleman. He was still acting sweet, like he thought he might actually convince me he wasn’t a monster. His hand swept across my back, and my spine stiffened.
I caught his expression from my periphery. He frowned at my sudden discomfort, a look of sympathy in his eyes. His fingers began to dance between my shoulder blades, poking and prodding the way they had months ago, searching for my wounds, opening them, torturing me.
I was clothed. I wasn’t injured. He couldn’t hurt me. He couldn’t hurt me. He couldn’t….
“Your highness,” said a voice like death.
I looked up into the dark eyes of the Ready. His red arkturion cloak flew behind him, and his golden armor shined.
“Arkturion Aemon.”
“I’ll take the lady from here,” he snarled.
The Imperator patted my back, and I jumped, unable to help myself.
“Of course, Aemon.” He winked, releasing me at once.
I practically stumbled out of the Imperator’s arms, my entire body shaking.
“You’re okay,” Aemon said, extending his elbow for me to take. “It’s almost over. I’m taking over your protection detail now. He has no reason to come near you after this.” There was a violent undertone to his words.
I was grateful and desperate for the relief, but I didn’t believe anyone could protect me. Not anymore.
“Thank you,” I said, my voice small.
Aemon walked me forward, calling off the soturi who walked with Morgana with such violence that for a second, I thought he’d leave me to slit both of their throats. Morgana instantly took his other arm, a dark look in her eyes. All it took was a look from the Ready for Meera to be released.
“You’re Heir Apparent still, Lady Meera,” Aemon said. “Walk before us.”
He escorted me and my sisters to the front of the temple to stand before Arianna and Kolaya. Naria stood behind her mother and Tristan behind her.
I couldn’t look at him. I was going to be sick if I did.
Instead, I tried to find Rhyan again. A crowd was gathering on the grass, the field filling with more and more bodies, boots crushing and melting the remaining snow. He was out there somewhere, watching me, waiting.
Kolaya began speaking, but I couldn’t hear her words. Everything was foggy. My mind was reeling with all that had happened, all I’d learned.