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Namtaya was still thinking, imagining the chayatim, fantasizing about her, using me. I was close enough. I was sweet, and I was noble, and my face reminded her of the chayatim’s. Eerily so.

She pushed me onto my back. My shoulders hit the top of the armrest, as she slid down my body and between my legs and pushed what remained of the fabric of my dress aside, kissing my shaking knees and then my thighs. I started to tremble as she kissed me just above my core, sliding my underwear down. I was feeling too much too soon.

She gripped my thighs, pulling them apart. And right as her tongue licked right up the center of me, my mind went blank.

Peace. Quiet. Silence that usually only he could bring.

In some ways, he had. He was here. I could sense him now. I always could—even when my mind shut off. His presence, his darkness, it was overwhelming at times.

Namtaya parted me with her fingers, and I found his dark eyes—the eyes I hardly ever looked into—watching from the shadows in the corner. His gaze was like fire, glued to me, his aura pulsing with desire.

I looked away, but he knew I’d seen him.

Fuck. I wasn’t going to last long if he was watching, if he was secretly going to find his pleasure as I received mine. And I wanted to last. I wanted to savor this—the silence.

Tears welled in my eyes as I closed them, seeing what Namtaya had showed me—a girl who looked like me but not quite. We could have been related. She could have been my cousin.

She was thinner than when I’d last seen her. So much thinner despite Namtaya admiring her curves. Namtaya didn’t know—hadn’t seen her before, hadn’t known her—how curvy she could be. Her skin was paler. Her eyes hollower, cheeks sunken in. The light from her eyes was gone.

But I’d know that face, that walk, that crinkle of her nose anywhere, even after two years without it. Jules.

Namtaya had seen Jules in the Emperor’s palace with the other vorakh he’d enslaved.

My hips bucked under Namtaya’s tongue as she circled my center, sucking on me until I squirmed. My emotions were so high, I was already riding the wave of an orgasm, losing control, losing myself, my eyes burning with tears.

But all I could think was one thought, again and again and again as the pleasure rolled through my body, my hips rising with each proclamation.

I was right.

I was right.

I was fucking right.

Jules had survived.

THE SECOND SCROLL:

ME SHA, ME KA

CHAPTER TWELVE

LYRIANA

After returning to my apartment the following morning in Rhyan’s sweats, I showered again and dressed in a fresh pair of long riding pants and a long-sleeved tunic. Morgana had called first thing in the morning using Meera’s vadati. She’d spoken to Rhyan the day before—when I’d been passed out for hours. I’d told her of my plan with Rhyan to see what we could find out about my bargain, and to my surprise, she’d wanted to come.

Morgana had never been one for research. She was too impatient. She hadn’t liked to sit before scrolls any longer than absolutely necessary for her studies. But she had researched while seeking a way to release herself from the blood oath Father had forced on us; I’d never known until the night she’d admitted it just how deeply she’d resented her scars.

We’d agreed to meet in the port of Scholar’s Harbor. Rhyan was also coming but would be arriving separately.

Aemon had taken over all of our security detail as he’d planned. From what I’d gathered after speaking to Morgana and receiving a grunt of acknowledgment from Rhyan, Aemon wasn’t changing anything about my guards’ protocol. After I’d been admitted to the Soturion Academy, I’d been under Aemon’s care, and since the Emartis had made me their target months ago, I had been on constant watch, so I was used to high security.

Meera and Morgana, however, were about to experience an increase in the presence of their escorts. Aemon wanted my sisters to have constant protection starting at once, especially since they’d be moving out of the fortress’s main keep after Arianna’s consecration. Meera, as Heir Apparent, had always been assigned the most soturi for protection, but because she’d rarely ventured out of the fortress, her escorts had been mostly relegated to guards standing idly by inside Cresthaven.

Rhyan was to remain as my bodyguard, but his station would be kept a secret from all except the others on my detail and Arianna. Which meant the Imperator knew Rhyan was my guard, too.

But Rhyan wasn’t on duty today, so to keep suspicions at bay, this meant traveling separately to Scholar’s Harbor.

The snow was beginning to melt as I fed my seraphim a treat and climbed into the carriage. Markan climbed aboard with me, looking as surly and annoyed as ever. But I, for once, was grateful he was coming. Markan hated visiting the Great Library so much, he always sat up front, annoying the lead librarian until I was ready to leave. At least this would allow me the ability to do some actual research and keep him from seeing Rhyan arrive.