Page 59 of Lady of the Drowned Empire
He was still focused on the scroll. “Do you think it’s significant?” he asked Morgana. “The vision?”
“After what just happened with the black seraphim, I do. But I’m not sure what that means yet.”
Rhyan stood, his eyes averted from me, grabbed his bag, and slung it over his shoulder. “I’m going to,” he looked around the library, noting the movement of every librarian and patron in the distance and Morgana’s escort, “go behind some shelves and…go.” His chest heaved. “If anyone asks, I’m reading on my own.” His eyes flicked to Jace.
“Rhyan?” My heart was hammering. Why wouldn’t he look at me?
He turned to me, his eyes rimmed with red. “Partner.”
“Be safe.”
He nodded.
“And…come back,” I said. “Promise.” My voice was barely above a whisper.
“I will,” he said, his voice heavy. He reached forward as if to take my hand, but then he dropped his hand back down.
My arms were aching for him. I needed to hug him, especially if I was about to go days without him. But we couldn’t be seen touching. Even him coming here and sitting across the table from me had been a risk.
He nodded at Morgana, hoisted his shoulder strap higher across his chest, and turned without looking back, heading into the shelves.
Tears sprang to my eyes.
“He’s gone,” Morgana said. She looked me up and down. “Calm down. He’ll be back. He’s nearly as good a fighter as the Ready. It’ll be okay.”
Dizziness rolled over me, the amethyst lights of the library suddenly too bright. Morgana was right, but my stomach was twisting. Rhyan always swore oaths to me, and the fact that he hadn’t…. I recalled how uneasy he’d looked this morning. He’d dreamt of the arena and seemed hesitant to touch me ever since but for one sleepy forehead kiss. Something had changed overnight. Something was wrong. And now he was too far away for me to reach him.
“Lyr,” Morgana said, a warning in her voice, “he doesn’t have to swear every single time.”
“I know, but….” I had a sinking feeling in my gut. He’d left to do this so many times before, and I trusted his strength more than I trusted myself, but—
This time was different. This time, he had something to prove. He wasn’t just going because he was forsworn or because of his skill. His honor was on the line—honor he felt he’d broken by putting me first. If Rhyan couldn’t be a noble, he was going to act noble. And in the quiet moments he wasn’t reaching out to comfort me, he was flailing. I could see that now. His admission to me last night should have been a bigger warning. How vulnerable he was feeling. Instead, he’d been convincing me that I was enough.
“He’s trying to redeem himself for Leander and Haleika.” My voice shook. “Isn’t he?”
Morgana nodded slowly, pressing her lips together, and I knew she’d known his plan all along.
“Fuck!”
Morgana took my arm. “Listen, he’ll be fine. Focus for a second. I don’t know why, but I think Glemaria is important. I’m not sure how yet. It was in Meera’s vision, and I saw you there. And the fact that his father was interested in a marriage for you, a marriage that would let him control you, only furthers my suspicions. And if Imperator Kormac is interested in arranging a marriage for you, too, but not one for Meera or for me, then he might know more than he’s letting on. He wants his hand in it to keep you out of the north. Out of Glemaria.”
I wrapped my arms around myself, cold with this realization.
“Morgana,” I said, suddenly going cold. Something I should have known a long time ago was becoming clear.
She stiffened, her skin paling. “Yes.”
“Why was my courtship with Tristan pushed, but no negotiations were ever made for Meera?”
I could be wrong, but Morgana looked relieved at my question, then frowned. “After Rhyan’s father attempted negotiations, Father said he wouldn’t entertain anymore proposals for you until Meera and I were betrothed. He never took a single meeting for either of us.”
He’d been protecting me from Rhyan’s father. And any other Imperator who knew the truth. All this time—and Meera and Morgana had been kept on the sidelines.
Morgana held up her hand. “Do not get emotional or feel guilty about this. Please. Neither of us have any interest in marriage anytime soon. But I think Tristan was always encouraged for you, because he was known, and he was here. So he was safe.”
“And now both Imperators are going to try and control me—and no one will stop them.”
Morgana continued, “I think we’ve done enough today. Go home. Rest. You need it. And so do I.”
