Page 40 of Eternal

Soren returns home and carries me to our bedroom, placing me in bed. He stops for a moment after bringing the blanket to my shoulders to play with my hair. He crawls into bed but even in my sleepy state, I notice that he doesn’t attempt to hold or touch me.

Chapter eighteen

Freya

Daysix,Iwaketo an empty bed with no note or anything from Soren again. It feels unreal.

What happened to the honeymoon Soren?

On the honeymoon, Soren and I discussed our ideal future in the haze of our post-sex bliss. He’d run his hand along my bare spine as I spoke about striving to be a bestselling author, and he told me he wanted to expand his company further overseas. Build it into an empire. We talked about our kinks; he has a thing for degradation, praise, pain play, and overstimulation. I don’t know what I like. Everything he’s done has been world-shattering, so I want to keep it as it is. Before Tristan, I would have never liked any of this, but now, I can’t get enough of it. I probably should see a therapist.

We spoke about children. However, it was a short conversation. We agreed not until we are in love if that ever even happens. Truly, I should’ve told him about Luca’s threat, yet I hesitated. Fear held me back. Not fear for myself, but fear for my future children. I couldn’t put my kids through the same things I’ve been through. Hell, I’m sure Soren would agree. Regardless, I expected us to be different from our parents. Yet, I am looking for Soren, who has shut me out since he dropped me off in our new home.

I’ve opened and closed every door of the house, searching for him. I know he’s here. The cars he had brought here are in the garages. Soren has a collection of vehicles, from a Bugatti to an Audi and everything in between.What the fuck does one guy need with all these cars?

We have three other bedrooms, four bathrooms, a library complete with a desk and computer for me, a movie theater, an in-home gym, a four-seasons glass patio, and the final door is locked. I turn the knob again, putting more weight on the door. I knock, hoping to see Soren’s face. I hear a shuffle of papers, but no one opens the door. I’m tempted to call out to him, yet I won’t. If he doesn’t want to speak to me, then why should I even bother putting in the effort for us? I shouldn’t want someone who clearly doesn’t want me. The problem is, I thought he did. I knock again, but silence follows.

He’s being a fucking dick.

I go to my library and stare at the setup Soren already has for me. The latest technology money could buy, and a fairly large desk. It’s otherwise rather empty. I sit in the desk chair and open up a blank document, hoping I can dredge up something to write about. Finally, inspiration strikes me. The words flow from me until I’m left glowing. I smile as I write, finding myself lost in the scene. At least these characters will be able to keep me company while my husband is MIA.

It’s dark outside when I look up again from my screen. The smell of dinner wafting into the library, but I’m not ready to leave yet. I opened Amazon, buying every book I thought would look good to fill my library. Buying every piece of decoration I liked, even buying an expensive record player along with records to fill my little room with life. Bring it upon myself to find happiness in fictional characters and material items. Soren is going to have a heyday seeing that credit card bill. But he probably won’t even care, unfortunately.

It’s incredible that despite not seeing Soren for so long, my body and mind still crave his presence. It’s been lonely being cooped up in this house in a new place without him. When I signed up for this, I imagined he’d always be around or show his face occasionally. I guess I’m just confused by his sudden withdrawal from me since we had gotten so much closer during the honeymoon. Was it all fake? It’s beginning to feel like I’m just a pussy to fuck, and not a human with feelings. Fine. If that’s how he wants it. What fucking difference does it make at this point?

The sound of someone working in the kitchen draws me out of my cave, and I make my way down the hall to just have someone to talk to. When I enter the kitchen, she looks up with a startled face.

“Dios Mio. You scared me.” The woman clutches her chest, breathing a little heavier.

“I’m so sorry. I was just coming to say hi and thank you for dinner last night. It was fantastic.” I smile.

“It’s my pleasure, Mrs. Astor. It pleases me to hear that you liked it so much. I wanted to discuss your food preferences, allergies, and such.” She continues to flow through the kitchen with grace.

I watch in awe, realizing I don’t know her name. “What’s your name?” I ask.

“Luciana, but you can call me Luci.” She smiles, wrinkles creasing at the corner of her eyes.

“Luciana, I love that name. And please call me Freya. It makes me feel old when someone says, ‘Mrs. Astor.’” I chuckle.

“Not a problem, Freya.” She keeps her sentences short, but there’s a wisdom behind her almost black eyes that captivates me.

She finishes and sets down two plates. One for me, one for Soren.

He’s going to have dinner with me finally?

A moment later, a tall figure glides past me towards the dining room, sitting at the head of the ridiculously long table. Luci places a plate on either side, but I grab mine and sit next to Soren. He glances at me, examining my figure for a moment before turning back to his plate. I feel pathetic. He’s been pushing me away all week, yet I want to stay by his side. I was hoping I’d be madder than this, but I think I’m just grateful to see him after all this time.

Luci turns around, startled that I have moved to be closer to him but continues bringing us silverware and glasses of water, then turns and leaves the room. Silence fills the house, and Soren barely acknowledges my presence.

I clear my throat, attempting to break the ice, “How did your dinner with your dad go?” I ask meekly.

He continues to stare down at his plate. “Fine.”

I sit back in my chair, unsure of what’s causing him to react so coldly. I attempted again.

“Do you want to watch a movie tonight? The basement has a nice projector an-”

“No.”

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