Page 19 of Love Thy Brother
Cam’s fiery aggravation was O’Brian as hell. “Are you fucking serious? After everything we’ve been through, you’ve been screwing him behind my back all along?”
Folk evaporated. Smart, remember?
I faced Cam’s anger. Deserved it, even if his narrative ran far deeper than reality. “That’s not what happened.”
“Yeah? Why is Nash’s fist imprinted in your face then?”
“You know why,” I wheezed. “He’s gone pussy mad because you’ve held him and me hostage in our own fucking lives for a thousand goddamn years.”
Any levity I was going for was wiped out by the bitterness lacing every syllable. I ran a finger over my split lip and tested my jaw for soundness.
Cam glowered at me, his own hands balled into baleful fists. “Start talking, motherfucker. I don’t need this shit. Not from you.”
I sighed and belatedly followed Folk’s advice to park my arse on the bench. Fire bloomed in my ribs. Bruised, not broken, but still a bitch. “I did fuck him. Once. I think. Then I ran a mile, so he hates me. And now Nash hates me too cos he walked up on Riv calling me a cunt about it all over again. Happy?”
“Ecstatic,” Cam deadpanned. “When did this happen?”
“The day after I got twatted with that pipe.” A dull beat thumped in my temple. “I was out of my fucking mind. Not thinking right, you know? I was scared, and I needed him. So I went looking and fucked everything up.”
Cam glanced over his shoulder. Nodded at who the hell knew, before he took a seat beside me, up close, his body warm against mine. “Do you regret it?”
“Which part?”
“Being with him in the first place.”
“Fuck no.” I jerked my pounding head up. “I just...fuck. You really want to hear this?”
“I need to hear it, brother. I need to understand.”
A sense of impending doom washed over me.Winter is coming. I mean, technically, it had been here since the solstice in December, but I felt it now more than ever as I searched for the vernacular to explain myself. “I never imagined it would be like that—likethis—when it finally happened. I had this fantasy that the first time I kissed him everything would slot into place. Like, I knew the world would never be the same, but I never pictured one where he hated my guts and Nash punched me in the face for my trouble.”
“River doesn’t hate you. He loves you.”
“It’s a fine line, brother.”
“My point still stands.” Cam almost smiled. Then his phone buzzed and he cursed. “Fuck’s sake. I’ll be back.”
He rose and disappeared.
Embry replaced him and I blew out a sigh. I loved the good father so much, but sometimes it hurt to look at him, and I’d never told him why.
He reminds me of Lark.
The last time I’d uttered those words aloud, it had been to Nash. He’d understood because he always did. And he’d understand this too—that I’d lost control and fucked up. It was the deceit he wouldn’t forgive.
Not for a while, anyway.
Embry nudged me. “Do you want to go inside? It’s cold out here.”
Was it? That I hadn’t noticed was probably a good thing. Meant the migraine from hell was finally fucking the fuck off. I didn’t like how Embry was looking at me, though. It was a deep, penetrating stare he usually reserved for Cam when he was getting all spooked and shit. “I’m fine, Em. You don’t have to stay out here too.”
“Would you leave if Nash had just punched me in the face?”
Embry was half my size. If Nash had punched him, he’d be in a coma.Have to catch him first, though.Embry wasfast.Nimble and sharp. Acrobatic. An adrenaline junkie.
Like River.
Goddamn. “I wouldn’t leave you. Mats get off okay?”
