Page 83 of Love Thy Brother
I settled for taking a deep lungful of air, saturating myself in all that was him and the zoot wedged between his tattooed fingers. I hadn’t done drugs forweeksnow. Couldn’t see a moment when I’d get the chance, so the faint herbal hit was all I had.
Unless he leaves.
Was that part of the grand plan they wanted my opinion on? Couldn’t blame them if it was. How loud had I been in my objection to his constant company? I had many regrets in life, but if my runaway mouth took him away from me now—
He can’t stay. He’s the target.
Fuck. I sank into my seat with that delight buzzing around my head. If Embry was right and the car had been aiming for Rubi, he had to leave.Or we destroy them before they get a chance to come for him again.
Wow. So apparently the mindset I’d spent the last few years crucifying my brother for had returned to me in the blink of a fucking eye.
But why? I hadn’t felt this way when Rubi had taken that pipe to the head. When Cam had been shot, and Saint had nearly died. I’d blamedthem, not the people who’d hurt them.
You’re fucked in the head.
Man, I really was.
Rubi was in the treasurer’s seat. Close enough that I could pluck the joint from his fingers.
He eyed me as I took a hit. Perhaps he knew the last thing I’d smoked that wasn’t the occasional cigarette was a crack pipe three years ago, before I’d figured out the only upper that didn’t send mecrazywas mandy. Whatever. I didn’t care. If I was going to sit in this room with these people and not have a stroke, I neededsomething.
The weed high eased into my bloodstream, slow and warm, softening the sharp edges of sitting at this fucking table, my dad’s ghost hunting me.
Rubi’sdad.
My mum.
“All right.” I forced myself to focus on Cam instead of Rubi. Had to, or I’d forget that someone had tried to kill him and think of him naked instead. Or something. Weed made my mind meander, drifting from anxious to horny to fucking furious with every heavy breath. “What’s your grand plan?”
Cam lit a cigarette and toked on it hard, buying himself the time he needed to answer me without spitting fire. “We don’t have one yet. Who’s the grunt Rubi chucked in the sea? Who does he work for?”
“No idea.”
“None at all?”
Sighing, I finished Rubi’s blunt and stubbed it out in an ashtray older than me. “I’ve never asked for his CV.”
I waited for Cam to lecture me on scoring without giving a fuck where it came from.
It didn’t happen.
He turned to Mateo instead. “What crews do we know who’d have the answers we need?”
Mateo frowned. “In London?”
“Probably. But if it’s county lines shit, it could be coming from anywhere.”
“That narrows it down.” Rubi’s voice pierced me like an arrow. I glanced his way, braced for his autumn gaze to floor me, but he was frowning at Cam, frayed impatience clouding his usual logical calm. “What the fuck are we supposed to do with that nugget of wisdom?”
Cam’s eyes flashed. There weren’t many people who could talk to him like that and keep their front teeth. All of them, bar my sister, were in this room, but Cam’s fuse was as short as mine, and Mateo’s grim prediction seemed more likely than ever.
I caught his eye across the table—Mateo’s, that is. He gave me a subtle nod—step up—and I took my cue. “Jonsey’s from Enfield. He goes back there sometimes.”
Rubi turned his sour glare on me, dulled only by the reddened ganja haze I felt swirling in my own brain. “Mates, are you?”
“Acquaintances. I’m a chatty motherfucker when I’m looking to get lit.”
“Nice.” Rubi pushed his chair back and strode to the kitchen. I watched his big body disappear and I fuckingachedfor him. But I couldn’t leave. Not yet. Mateo was right—I had to fix this.
