Page 103 of Love Thy Brother
“You act like I’ve never faced rejection.” River’s dry amusement amped up, fleeting and beautiful, before it faded. “But Oscar’s non-existent woody for me is beside the fucking point. You’re asking if I’m a junkie, and the truth is, I don’t know. I didn’t think I was, but these last few weeks... dealing with myself day in day out. It’s tough, man. When we’re not totally wrapped up in each other, I just want it all to stop.”
I’d asked the question, but perhaps I hadn’t prepared for the answer. Raw emotion splintered inside me. “I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“For asking you a million years too late.”
“It’s not too late. Drink your tea and stop bellyaching.”
River retrieved the weed tin from the coffee table—we didn’t have much left—and loaded the pipe. I watched him take a hit and wondered if he had any idea how hard those four little words hit me.
“It’s not too late.”
Did he mean that?
Hope I wasn’t expecting tickled my soul. I took the pipe from him, but for the first time in as long as I could remember, I didn’t need it. Didn’t want it. The despair dragging me down felt light, and I wasn’t fucking drowning.
I ditched the tin and drank my tea instead.
River sank back into the couch, eyes heavy, limbs slack. I brushed his hair back from his face and he sighed. “I’m gonna have lungs like a coal miner by the time I go home.”
My heart clenched at the thought of him leaving. I shifted a little closer and draped an arm around him. “We’re gonna run out soon. Unless I get Mats to drop some off.”
“Nah, don’t bother. I don’t need any new bad habits.”
He closed his eyes, as close to sleep as I’d seen him in the time we’d been together. I coaxed his head onto my shoulder and kissed his temple, hoping he’d doze off, but my phone chose that moment to buzz with an incoming text I couldn’t ignore.
Alexei:Cam is on his way. Orla is riding with him.
“Fuck’s sake.”
River blinked back to reality. “Hmm? Who is it?”
“Alexei. We have incoming.”
“He’s coming over?”
“Not him. Your siblings.”
“Both of them?” River sat up, rubbing his face. “What the fuck for?”
“No clue. Can’t be all bad if Cam’s got Orls with him, though. He wouldn’t drag her into dodgy club business.”
“Lucky her.”
River rose from the couch and trudged upstairs.
I ached for him every second he was gone, and it pissed me off to hell and back that he reappeared with a fucking T-shirt on. “Don’t dress up on his account.”
River tossed me a shirt. “It’s for my benefit, not his. Orla will crawl up my arse and die if we’ve got no clothes on.”
“We had clothes on. This is just more clothes.”
“Get dressed, boo. I’m not facing my sister with a semi.”
For him, I dragged the old Henley over my head. For myself, I went to him and buried my face in his neck, breathing him in before he covered himself up.
Eventually, he pushed me away.
