Page 41 of My Monster, My Choice

“I saw,” I say casually, trying not to snap at the hundredth time I’ve heard that phrase. I lean in casually. “Hi, pretty girl,” I coo to the baby as Telilah gurgles, raising a hand to my cheek.

Tera frowns, confused, and looks between me and Elex. She expected more out of me, clearly.

“Kiss me, beautiful,” Elex says lightly, and only I hear the thread of challenge in his voice.

I smile charmingly, noticing when Tera’s face clears, and then lean in to give him a small peck over Telilah’s head.

When his tentacle brushes up my ankle, I can’t help but linger over his lips.

“I missed you,” he whispers in his low, raspy voice.

“Ditto, my love.” Mostly, I add that title for Tera’s benefit, but because it’s true I sink all my heartfelt emotions into it.

At the last moment, I feel his tentacle brush up the bare skin of my leg, tasting my truth.

And he knows. He knows I want him; I need him. I’m crazy about him.

He’s going to wonder why I continue to push him away.

ChapterFifteen

CHRISTINA

“Here, Christina,” Relion says, holding out a chair and placing it next to Elex so I can sit near the baby. I smile at my son-in-law. He’s finally dropped themamanfrom my name. Considering he’s my age, it felt a bit odd.

“Would you like to see yournéka, beautiful girl?” Elex murmurs into Telilah’s little ear, kissing the shell of it softly.

My heart melts and I scoot closer to him, not even minding when his tentacles come around me, nestling me to him. It feels just like the old days and while I expected awkwardness between us, there is none. He leans in and places our precious grandbaby in my lap.

“Hi, sweetie,” I say softly.

She looks so much like Tera. She has lilac skin, though, and tentacles like Relion. She’s bald as a turnip and has the Adroki designs that mark her little skull and I’m not sure if that means she’ll grow hair like a human or if she’ll just remain with the markings like the Adroki.

I inhale her baby scent and a piece of my heart breaks and heals at the same time. I wonder what my baby might have looked like. Would he have smelled this sweet? Cooed so perfectly? Sucked his fingers like he couldn’t get enough?

She curls a tentacle around Elex’s large finger, and I can’t help but sigh and settle my head into the crook of his shoulder because I’m so lovestruck.

How I wish things were different. I wish he didn’t want children, so I didn’t have to keep pushing him away. But he deserves this and just because I can no longer have any doesn’t mean he should be kept from enjoying them.

Relion takes Tera off to dance, knowing their baby girl is safe and sound, fed and happy.

“How old are you, Christina?” Elex asks. He knows, so I’m not sure why he’s asking, but I answer anyway.

“Just turned thirty-seven.”

“Odd that you could have akish, and she could be younger than your owngrandkish,” he says.

I can’t help but smile, but then I wipe it away. “Except I don’t want any,” I say. “I’ve raised mine, remember? And Kenny—well, Kenny will be with me for the rest of his life.”

His voice is right in my ear when he says, “Perhaps it was that way in the past, my love. But you are no longer a single mother raising twokishon her own. You have an entire community now. I see all the dancers making sure he doesn’t have too much candy, reminding him how to treat others, teaching him dance, showing him how to garden.”

Just then, Kenny’s laughter rings out, followed by a bark of laughter by Jaire, who picks him up for a piggy-back ride.

He’s right. Kenny is much more independent now. He’s much happier, is no longer prone to tantrums because he wants his sister. But I can’t share with Elex the real reason why I don’t want kids.

Instead, I smile sadly and rub my cheek onto his shoulder. He’s wonderfully built—all hard, bulging muscle. Warm skin. He smells like smoky campfire and sweet baby, mixed with the fresh underlying scent of his soap. Sexy, sexy alien man. Things were so good between us during the six months before Tera and Relion returned from their trial mating period. Until I realized a relationship meant everyone expected more.

“You know that I would give you anything you wish?” he rumbles.

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