Page 57 of Love Me Always

“I’m off to bed, it’s been a shitty night.” Emmet patted his thighs before he left Gino and I alone.

“It’s only just after ten,” Gino called after him, only to be met with silence.

“How do you really feel about Anastacia leaving tonight?” Gino asked. He rounded the island and gently placed his hand on my shoulder. “You can look at the door all you want, but she’s not coming back.”

“I know. I deserve all the shit she chooses to throw at me after the way I’ve acted over and over again.” I pinched the bridge of my nose before letting out a sigh, one I didn’t know I’d been holding. “That woman will never love me. Why the fuck would she?”

“Could you love her?” That was a million-dollar question, one I didn’t know the answer to.

Could I love her?

“No, whatever I feel with her is lust and nothing else.” I didn’t even know if I believed the shit spewing from my mouth right now.

“Before you’re honest with her or anyone else, you need to be honest with yourself.” He patted my shoulder before he headed to the front door. “I need to head back to the warehouse and clean up the mess we left behind earlier.” And with that, he left me standing alone.

Tonight, we had caught someone spying on our newest shipment. They claimed it was nothing but wrong place, wrong time, but it didn’t sit right with me. There was more to it than that and once we tortured the shit out of him, he sang like a canary. He was recruited by some small-town gang that thought they had a chance against me. Little did they know, my men were already on their way to inflict the same level of pain that we’d carried out on their newest addition if not worse. I should have been with them, but when I heard that fucker was on my premises, I lost control. I couldn’t explain why. Something inside me snapped, and knowing he was with my woman caused me to see red.

* * *

I leaned back in my office chair. I hadn’t yet changed out of my blood-stained shirt, I was on my sixth glass of bourbon, and nothing was taking the edge off. Gino had informed that the warehouse was as it was before we got creative with the fucker we found earlier, and Finn let me know they’d took the gang leader to the lock up for me to have a little fun with tomorrow before I ended his life excruciatingly slow. I’d teach him exactly why they don’t fuck around with Lorenzo Ricci.

I flicked through my phone as I landed on Anastacia’s earlier messages. There was nothing new, but why would there be? I debated sending her a message ordering her to come home, but I doubt she would listen, and I was in no position to order her to do anything if ever again. As I was about to down another glass, I noticed the three dots dancing on the screen. Ana was typing something and part of me panicked since I didn’t know what to expect from her anymore. I watched impatiently as the dots continued to taunt me until it suddenly stopped altogether. I kept waiting for her to continue what she was obviously writing, but there was nothing.

I’ve fucked up this time.

“Son?” The familiar voice of my father came from the other side of the door along with his tapping against the wood.

“Come in, Pa.” I toyed with the tumbler between my thumb and middle finger as my father entered.

“Haven’t you heard of a light?” He scoffed as I knew the only light he could see was the lit cigarette in the ashtray. He flicked the switch by the door which illuminated the room instantly.

“Did you have to?” I moaned as my eyes adjusted to the brightness.

My father stood before me in his casual attire, charcoal grey slacks, a cream cable knit jumper rolled up to his elbows, and his polished Oxfords. His Rolex sat pretty on his wrist as it caught my eye once he folded his arms across his chest.

“Want to tell me what the hell happened?” he asked as he lowered himself into the chair opposite me.

“Nothing happened.” I polished off my drink as the amber liquid burned my throat, a feeling I welcomed.

“Not according to Victor who happened to be rather surprised when his only daughter burst through his front fucking door with no fucking shoes on.” He might have remained calm, but I knew deep down, he wanted to knock me through the window behind me. “You have no idea how long it took me to calm him down. He was so damn close to calling off the wedding. I wouldn’t have blamed him either.”

“Couples have arguments, don’t they?” I smirked, hoping he would mind his own business, but that was something my father wasn’t used to.

“Except you aren’t really a couple, are you? You put Victor in an uncomfortable position when you informed him Anastacia would be moving in here and you know you didn’t have to, but in true Lorenzo fashion, you did whatever you wanted as usual.” He strummed his fingers on the arm of the chair as his disappointed gaze met mine.

“I know I didn’t have to but—”

“I know you and I know you probably haven’t treated her with an ounce of respect since you ordered her to stay here, have you?” he interrupted me and he had every right, because he knew what I was like. He was the same until he met Mom.

“I fucked up more than once, and yes, she probably hates me, and God knows I deserve it. Every time she tries to extend an olive branch or make amends, I fuck it up again.”

“We all fuck up, son, it’s part of who we are. We can’t be perfect no matter how much we try to be.” He leaned forward in his chair as he kept his eyes trained on mine. “Your mother and I—”

“You and Ma weren’t arranged. You met her unexpectedly,” I interrupted.

Arranged or not, I love her.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Just as you’ll love Anastacia.”

“I shouldn’t feel this way about her. I wasn’t supposed to.” I sighed as I leant my head against the back of the chair.

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