Page 80 of The Photograph

Tears press behind my eyes, and I let myself fall on the sofa.

I grab my cell and check the time. It’s 11:00 PM in New York.

Emma sounds sleepy. “Hello?”

“Em? It’s me. How are you?”

There’s a smile in her voice. “Babe, how are you?”

Sitting up, I cross my legs. “I’m good. Is this a bad time?”

“No, it’s the perfect time. I’ve got the results of my exams yesterday—”

“All As?”

She giggles. “Yes. All As.”

Screaming and shrieking ensue until we run out of breath.

“How are you Ael?”

Emma is the only person I can be completely honest with. Everything I do impacts Cara in one way or another and my sister has sacrificed so much already to raise me, I don’t want to add to that.

I tell her of the contradictory feelings I have for Gabe, how I almost crave him while being scared I’m just infatuated because he was my first lover and is oh-so good at it. I tell her about my need for Cara’s approval, and how it’s no coincidence I met, slept, and got my heart broken by Gabe when she was as far away as possible from me.

I curl deeper into the pillow I’m hugging and wipe my tears. “I want to make her proud, Em, I want her to know she made the right choice when she took me in.”

“She is Aelin. I promise you she is,” Emma whispers.

I sniffle. “She really hates him, Em.”

My best friend hums softly. “But you don’t?”

I close my eyes and exhale sharply. “No, I’m … I feel lot of things around him … and… I miss him.”

“Oh, babe.”

I know.

“Babe, do what your heart tells you. Cara loves you, she’ll understand.”

You didn’t see her tonight.I nibble my bottom lip.“Oh, it’s not even about that. I’m pretty sure Gabe’s not interested, but I just wish I could talk to her about him. It feels weird not to be able to share something so big with her.”

I can hear Em shuffle. “Are you sure he’s not interested? Because revenge or not, the way he looked at you was pure lust. And I don’t think that can be faked unless you’re a psychopath, and you told me he’s been okay since his brother came back.”

My chest tightens. “Even if he were, now that he knows, I’ve become untouchable.”

When Emma sighs, I sit up and take a deep breath.What am I doing? I’m failing the Bechdel test in spectacular fashion.

“Argh. Sorry, Em. How are you? Are Mindy and Sam settling okay?”

She giggles. “We’re good. I’m kicking ass in the course, I’ve met some fantastic people, some really weirdly interesting ones, and some who give a bad name to IT nerds.”

I chuckle. “How is that even possible?”

Within minutes I’m laughing so hard, I nearly drop my cell on the floor. Sam and Mindy are fine, loving the busy rhythm of the city, I ask Emma if they’d be back for Thanksgiving, and she swears she will because she’s not a fan of the colder weather.

After we hang up, I stroll back to my studio and smile. It’s been a while since I’ve felt inspired.

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