The scent of chamomile fills out the kitchen and I stare at the amber liquid in my mug on the counter. I’m too numb to scream I reach for my mug. It slips from my grasp. And shatters on the kitchen tiles.
Even my favorite mug doesn’t want me. Tears burn behind my eyes as I grab a towel and kneel to the yellow pieces of my favorite mug swimming in tea.
“Are you okay, angel?”
I whip my head up to Cara who stands in the doorway of the kitchen with a grin.
“I’m fine, just distracted,” I say while I pick up pieces of the broken ceramics.
She crouches besides me to help and within minutes, the kitchen floor’s clean and safe to walk on again. Pushing on my knees, I restart the process of making tea.
“Is it Gabe?”
My back stiffens. Since Gabe and I are dating, every time she hears his name, she pinches her lips, or she scowls.
A few weeks ago, after a lingerie shopping spree with Em, I spread my splurge on my bed. I was grazing my fingertips on an intricate black lacy set when Cara knocked on the door left ajar. I twisted, happy to share my new obsession with her, but her disapproving expression burnt a pit in my stomach.
She edged to the bed. “What’s all this?”
I lifted a purple gossamer half cup bra against my chest, “Isn’t this absolutely gorgeous?”
Her eyes locked on mine, she frowned. “Did Gabe ask you for … that?”
“No, but—”
“Angel, you shouldn’t feel like you have to do anything you don’t want to.”
I sat on my bed, pulled her beside me, and took her hand.
“You’re doing it again, my Cara.”
Her frowned deepened. “What? What am I doing again?”
“The first place you go to is that Gabe somehow has taken over my mind, and I couldn’t possibly choose to do this for myself. I’m not sure why you still see him as this … ogre who’s controlling me or forcing me into things.”
She squeezed my hand and my heart raced at her expression “Angel, I left you once with a monster…” her voice broke, and I wrapped her in my arms. When she exhaled a trembling breath, I brushed the tears from her face.
“But you also saved me, my Cara. Gabe is not evil nor is he a saint. He’s a man, a real person who can hurt and care for his brother. Same as me, same as anyone else. I believe him when he says he’s sorry and I feel good when I’m with him, happy, and silly, and so many other things.” I took a deep breath. “These…” I pointed at the pile on my bed. “…these make me look and feel so good, my Cara. And I love that, and yes, one of the reasons why I love it is because I want Gabe to see them on me and go crazy.”
She grumbled which made me smile. “I’m not sure I want this giant to go crazy around you.”
This time a giggle broke out of me. “Mitch is as tall as Gabe.”
“Whatever.” Her tone was gruff, but she was smiling. “Okay, angel,” she whispered before she exited my bedroom, and that was that.
Keeping my back to her, I grab another mug. “It’s okay, nothing bad.”
The floral scent of her body moisturizer gets stronger as she gets closer. “Angel, you know you can talk to me about anything right?”
I pivot toward her and slant my hip against the counter. “Even about Gabe?”
She cups my cheek. “Yes, anything.”
My mouth drops, and I bow my head to stop the tears swelling up in my throat.
“I swear if he hurt you again, I’ll murder his ass.” Cara hisses under her breath. When I snap my eyes to hers, she wink. “But I promise not to do it if you prefer to do it yourself.”
I shake my head. “I’m going to break up with Gabe.”