Page 18 of April is for Asher

All the way back to the cabin, I've been working on what I want to say. So the words just fly. From my mind to my hand and onto the paper.

When I'm done, I read the letter. And it sounds exactly like I'd like it too. So I set it in the pen on the table.

Then I take his house key off my key ring and place it on top.

After giving the house one last look, I turn around and walk out the door, locking it behind me.

CHAPTER10

ASHER

I knowJenna is mad at me and she has every right because it was such a special appointment. If I can just get her to listen to me, then I can explain I was on my way. On the two-lane county road, there was a car in front of me that swerved, trying to avoid an animal that darted into the road. The car went off the road, hit the ditch, flipped into the air and came crashing down.

Since I was the only other car on the road, I flew into action. While calling 911 and giving them the details, I raced to aid the people inside.

Clearly, it was a family, tourists taking a scenic drive. There was a husband, his wife and their kid who thankfully will all be okay. But, I couldn't just leave them there. I had to wait until help arrived and then I had to answer questions with the police to let them know what happened.

By the time I was able to leave, I didn't think there was any point in trying to make the doctor's appointment. It took me so long that she was probably already at my cabin. So, I came straight home.

But now that I sit here, I can see that her car isn't here. I wonder if maybe she stopped along the way. Though I didn't see her car pass by me on the road. But I doubt she would have come that way.

What kills me is if it hadn't been for the accident, I would have been at the doctor's appointment with plenty of time. Probably even before she was. And now she's mad at me and I'm sure it's going to take some effort and convincing to get her back.

My guess is she's probably stewing and talking to her sister as we speak.

Going inside, I figure I can at least get dinner going. That way, I can make sure that she's eaten by the time she gets home. As I head to the kitchen, the piece of paper on the table catches my eye.

When I left this morning, I cleaned off the table after breakfast. So I know it wasn't there, nor did I leave it there. Then I spot my house key and a letter from Jenna, proving she's been here and gone. Not bothering to even read the letter, I just know. Walking down to her bedroom, I find all of her stuff gone.

My heart sinks and suddenly I feel nauseous. Then, as my knees give out from underneath me, I slide down the wall to the floor. And with shaky hands, I read the letter.

Asher,

These past couple weeks, I have been fooling myself that we could make this work between us and be more than what they've been.

Today proved that you have other priorities that are not me and this baby.

And I know how this story goes. I do not want my child constantly disappointed because their dad never shows up.

As I told you from the beginning and I meant it, I am perfectly capable of raising this baby on my own and am fully planning to do just that. I would rather you not be in the baby's life than to be there and constantly disappointing them, because you're simply not there when they need you.

This letter is to inform you that I don't want anything from you. Not even any child support or help from you. Though you need to know that you have a child, and if you want to visit them, I won't stop you. But don't make plans and cancel. That's the one thing I will not tolerate.

If you're not sure that you can keep plans, it would almost be better for your visit to be a surprise versus actually making plans you don't know if you'll be able to keep.

Thank you for opening your house to me.

And thank your friends for inviting me into their circle for a brief time.

The landlord in Billings called and my apartment there is ready early. So I'm going to go there and get it all sorted out.

It was just perfect timing.

Once again, thank you again for everything, Jenna

Readingthis letter over and over, I’m confused and shocked. I can’t help feeling like it's such a drastic leap from me missing the appointment to her up and leaving.

Not able to wrap my head around it, I pull out my phone and give her a call.

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