Even if he wanted me, he would probably want to control me. There’s no way he’d love me. No way he’d even enjoy my scarred body.
And why the hell would I even feel attraction in the first place? He hasn’t been kind. He hasn’t done anything for me, aside from steal me away from both Dmitri and Victor. And both times, he did it for himself. He did it because he wants me as his wife.
So why? Why would I be interested in him?
Connor doesn’t speak. He just turns away and walks out the door. I don’t stop him. I wait and watch as he shuts the door behind him, as the lock clicks from the outside.
The sound brings me back to reality. I dart forward and try the door, but the knob is rigid. It doesn’t unlock from this side.
I’m trapped.
Again.
CHAPTER6
Connor
The O’Reilly Syndicate may have struggled to regain our footing in the aftermath of our father’s death, but under Lachlan’s leadership, we’ve made massive strides, recovering all of the ground we lost.
He’s the one who spends the most time running our strip club, Tír na Nóg, but he’s careful to delegate to the rest of us as well, keeping us all apprised of what he’s thinking and planning.
Today, we’re all at Aiden’s place, having been called in to discuss recent events and what to do now that we have Willow back.
We’re all gathered in the kitchen, one of our common meeting spots. Rose is in the room too, making a sandwich for herself. She laughs when Aiden whispers something to her, playfully hitting his shoulder. They’re in love, completely and totally. It’s obvious.
It’s still a little strange to see how they ended up this way. It didn’t start like this. It was a marriage of convenience in the beginning, a way of controlling Rose’s father. But now, it’s so much more. We all realized Antonio wasn’t to blame for our father’s death, and Rose and Aiden started to patch things up. It helped that they were high school sweethearts.
I can’t help but feel a little jealous. Especially when I think about my home, about the woman waiting there for me.
My future wife.
I never had the urge to find some great romance. I was always too concerned about proving myself to the family, about paying back the kindness I’d been shown by the O’Reillys. But seeing Rose and Aiden makes me wonder.
Could it be the same with me and Willow? What would it take for the arranged marriage between us to ever feel real?
Those are questions I can’t think about in this moment. Right now, I have my duty to think about.
That’s all that matters. Not love. Not desire. Not some idealized notion of romance.
Lachlan sits at the table, and it signals to the rest of us that it’s time to get down to business. Rose kisses Aiden goodbye and leaves with her plate, a book in hand. The rest of us settle in around the table as well.
“The Assembly is still a little unsteady,” Aiden says, crossing his arms. “The power vacuum of Dmitri’s death and his betrayal are affecting everyone.”
“Yeah, well, they should,” Finn says, snorting. “They were blind.”
“We didn’t see it, either,” Lachlan reminds him. “Not until Willow came to us and told us what Dmitri had done.”
He’s not wrong. No one really saw the threat that Dmitri was. No one but Willow, that is.
I know it must have taken all her strength to come to Rose and Aiden. It’s part of the reason I can’t untangle what I think about her. I would like to be able to neatly decide that I either hate her or respect her. I can’t really figure out which is true.
She risked everything to tell her secret. But then she walked it back when she was needed. I can’t fault her for trying to save herself, but my own loyalties conflict with her choice.
I just wish it was easier to decide what I feel about her.
“His assets belong to Willow now,” Aiden muses. “That’s a lot.”
“Sure, but without anyone to direct the men and organize things, the Raven Syndicate will fall apart,” Finn replies. His tone suggests he doesn’t care. “They’re already fumbling.”