I do care. I care about what we stand to lose if we let the syndicate just fall apart. I don’t intend to let that happen.
“The Ravens’ higher ups are already fighting among themselves,” I say. “They’re all trying to take control when and where they can.”
“Does it matter? They don’t have access to the money like she does,” Finn says, frowning.
“It matters. Their infighting is causing ripples.”
Finn might not have the attention or care to think about it in depth, but it’s all I’ve been thinking about. I can’t ignore the potential here.
If we don’t move fast, half the city is going to come running to snatch the shreds of the Raven Syndicate. Worse, the syndicate could splinter from within, branching into a dozen different groups with clashing allegiances. If that happens, it’ll be that much harder to get them all under control.
And we will eventually have control over all of them. That’s why we have Willow. It’s why I’m marrying her in the first place. With an allegiance, her inherited power will become mine. It’ll become part of the O’Reilly family.
If there’s infighting among the Raven Syndicate, it’s going to make things harder down the road.
Lachlan glances at me, something expectant in his green eyes. I wonder if he’s thinking about what I am, and I wonder if he has the same thought. I hope so.
“About your wedding,” he begins.
It’s not quite what I wanted to talk about, but I knew this was coming. It doesn’t feel any less strange to be talking about it, to be talking about the reality of something that I still haven’t come to terms with.
But there’s no escaping the choice I made. I have to face it, and I have to do it for my family.
“I want to wait,” I say. “Until she’s clean and sober.”
I know it’s an insufficient excuse, especially after we just finished talking about instability. The longer we wait, the more fighting there will be. The more problems could arise. I know Lachlan knows this. Hell, even Finn knows it.
But I’m not ready. Even if I made the choice, even if I won’t back out—I’m not ready.
It’s true that I want her sober, but that could wait. I just don’t want it to. Something about marrying a woman when she’s half there makes me sick in my stomach. I don’t want to be even a little like Dmitri, like the others Willow has had to survive.
Lachlan looks like he already expected my answer. “It’ll delay the ceremony.”
“Doesn’t matter.” I fish around for my answer, luckily thinking of something quick enough. “We have to make sure everyone believes it’s legitimate.”
I’m not wrong. We already shook up the Assembly when Aiden married Rose, binding the Donovan and O’Reilly families. This is going to be even worse. If we look like we’re getting too vicious, making a power grab, the other families could turn on us.
Marriage between families is rare. It’s an unspoken agreement between the Assembly members to avoid it if possible. Split loyalties are never a good thing. Besides that, it would be a shitshow if everyone intermarried over and over. There wouldn’t be any families left.
The Assembly was made to keep a balance of power. Our weddings are upsetting that balance, tying families together in a way they were never meant to.
I don’t want to think about the possibility of retribution or punishment from the Assembly. I don’t want to think about what would happen if Messina and the Koslovs decided we were too hungry. If they decided we were just like Dmitri.
I know making the marriage seem legitimate is a long shot. No one’s going to believe we’re in love, that’s for sure. But the least we can do is make it seem like we’re doing this for a good reason.
“All right,” Lachlan replies, nodding sharply. “We’ll wait as long as we can, but it can’t be too long.”
“I understand.”
Lachlan continues talking, but I’m only half-listening. My mind is stuck on Willow.
I don’t like leaving her alone. Part of me is worried she’ll escape again, although I don’t think she’ll be able to. Not in her condition, and with the door locked.
But I can’t forget the look in her eyes.
She might have been glaring at me, but it was directionless. It wasn’t me she was thinking about. I know Dmitri is still fresh on her mind. He’s not even cold in the ground, and she’s already facing marriage with me. I understand her anger.
But it’s not just anger I see in Willow. It’s something else—something I used to see in the lambs my grandfather kept, when they would escape. I’d have to find them and when I did, they’d look at me the same way. Like they knew it was safe but couldn’t stand it. Like I was just another reason to run.