Page 26 of Brutal Knight

Willow notices. She twists in my arms, and when she feels my cock pressed against her, her eyes widen.

CHAPTER9

Willow

My stomach flips, my heart pounding and my blood rushing in my ears.

Connor’s body is pressed close against mine, thick and muscled and hard… everywhere.

It makes something deep inside me respond, something blinding and all-encompassing. The only thing in my mind is one very clear thought.

I have to get out of here. I have to escape this prison somehow.

I try to think. I can’t process much. The fears in my mind are piling up. But I force myself to think, force myself to shut down the fear and focus on what I can do.

I’m used to being manhandled. Dmitri used to do it to me, and he was far less kind about it. He would throw me around a room as if I were a rag doll. He would leave bruises. He didn’t care if he hurt or broke me. He only cared about controlling me, about forcing me to do whatever he wanted.

Connor isn’t being rough. Yet.

I know he could get violent. He could hurt me. But maybe I can change the situation.

With Dmitri, I could sometimes blunt his anger with sex. I could save myself a beating, replace it with rough sex. I would do what I needed to refocus his anger, refocus his energy. I’d do anything to get his mind on sex and off killing me. And at least with that, I could close my eyes and make it fade away. At least that way, it never permanently broke my body. It didn’t require a hospital.

It’s that same instinct that guides me now.

This is self-preservation. It’s always helped me before. If I give him what he wants, he won’t take it by force. I’ll save myself the struggle and pain.

And I don’t care about giving sex anymore. I don’t care about it, don’t feel it. I just distance myself and let it happen. It lost its meaning long ago, lost any pleasure it could possibly have. It’s just an exchange now, just a way to stay alive.

I don’t know how Connor likes it, what he wants. But I have to try. And if I find out, I can save myself from more pain. I can live through this arrangement.

So I reach down and cup him.

Connor’s eyes widen for a moment. He groans when I touch him. The effect is almost immediate as his grip on me loosens.

I stroke him through his pants and feel him get harder. His response is so fast that I’m almost surprised. I didn’t expect this much of a reaction. I wonder if he hasn’t had a woman around since he took me in, and I wonder if doing this will blunt some of his anger. Some of his danger.

I hope so.

He pivots to press me against the wall, his head dropping. He inhales by my neck. I can feel his breath whisper against my skin.

I’m almost surprised that it was this easy. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I keep expecting him to hit me, for his hand to wrap around my throat. I’m ready for it.

It just doesn’t come.

I push Connor back just enough to drop to my knees. I do everything I know to do—pull down his pants, take his cock from where it’s trapped by his underwear. It’s bigger than what I’m used to, thick and hard.

I stare at it for a moment, swallowing. I didn’t expect to have to prepare for this. I give myself a moment, absorbing his masculine scent. For some reason, I almost like it.

I’ve never liked anything about sex, not since that first awful time when Dmitri took me on our wedding night. The act wasn’t good. Foreplay wasn’t good. Being sexy was never a good thing.

It’s just what I have to do.

It’s what I have to do to survive, what I have to do to keep myself out of harm’s way. It’s the only thing I have that anyone wants, aside from my new power over the Ravens. I can use sex to save myself, and I need saving right now.

Remembering that seems to give me strength. I can fall back to what I’m used to doing, to the things I know will work.

I put my mouth on Connor’s cock and start to suck.

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