Page 43 of Brutal Knight

After Dmitri, there was nothing. Just a void of emotion, a well of deep emptiness where all my life and color should have been. I was never going to love again, never going to be able to touch anyone or be touched. That was it.

But that’s not what’s happening with Connor.

My heart is thudding when he takes my hand. I can feel my pulse pound through my fingertips, and even though I have no clue what’s coming next, part of me can’t help but want to find out.

Because even though I shouldn’t feel anything for this man… I think I might.

CHAPTER16

Connor

It’s over, and we’re both still alive. For now.

Willow’s hand is cool in mine at first. I wonder if she was cold this entire time, or if she’s always this cold. I can’t help hoping I can warm her up, so I keep hold of her hand as I guide her down the stairs and back down the aisle.

There are faces in the Assembly that greet us as we pass, wishing us well. I catalog each one of them—a Kozlov, one of Donovan’s men, a Messina lieutenant. The Assembly knows this is a power move. They know the truth behind the ceremony, the reality of this marriage. It’s there in the way they speak.

“We’ll be watching,” a Messina member says, his smile polite. “Congratulations.”

I murmur my thanks and keep moving.

We knew this would happen. There was no way we wouldn’t garner attention for this, even make the Assembly uncomfortable. This is the second move for power we’ve made in less than a year. I know what they must think. They must think we’re not that much different than Dmitri.

Just like Willow probably does.

Rose waves. I barely catch the movement, but I know what she’s trying to do. I carefully drop Willow’s hand, stopping beside a row of Donovan men wishing us well.

“Go ahead,” I say. I watch Willow walk away, toward the women waiting for her by the door.

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch sight of Lachlan as he gestures silently, stepping away from the main crowd. I follow him into the alcove just outside the doors of the chapel. I have a bad feeling about this.

It’s not like I don’t have a voice in the family. But I’ve always had a heightened sense of being outside the main family, not related by blood. As many times as I’ve been told I am a brother, I can’t help feeling that it’s less true than they say.

I might have been adopted after my father’s death, but that doesn’t mean I’m truly an O’Reilly. And what I just did with Willow’s father was not something any one member of the family could have done. Even Aiden would have been on thin ice if he made the choice.

And me? I’m not Aiden.

“I know I stuck my neck out,” I say, before Lachlan can speak. The need to get my words out is greater than any deference I should show the head of the family. “I know that. I’m prepared to face it.”

Lachlan’s eyebrows rise.

I know what could be coming. I knew the consequences when I stood up for Willow. Still, I did it, and I’m willing to face what comes next.

“I can split off from the family. I was prepared when I made my move. I know I didn’t consult you first, and I can’t speak for the family. I’ll face this on my own.”

I brought the wrath of a powerful mafioso down on us. It’s only right that I handle the fallout.

Lachlan waves a hand dismissively. “No. Connor, no. You are one of us, and we do not abandon our brothers. Never.”

So he says. Guilt rises in my chest, right alongside gratitude. I know what I did was stupid by syndicate standards, but it was right by our family’s standards. We aren’t the type to let something like this happen. We don’t deal in selling the helpless to the sharks.

I’ve always felt like I have to prove myself. I can’t get out of the mindset, away from the urge to show that I am just as good as my adoptive brothers. I’m grateful I still have a chance to prove as much.

I glance over at Willow and find her talking to Rose and Violet, a faint smile on her face. She looks a little dazed, but not miserable, nothing like she looked when Dmitri was still around. I’d like to think she even looks a little happy.

Looking at my new wife, I know I did the right thing.

When I turn back around, Lachlan is watching me. There’s seriousness in his green eyes, the color dark as he watches my face.

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