Page 84 of Brutal Knight

I’d already slipped and betrayed the O’Reilly family once before. It was trauma and abuse, drugs that pushed me to spill everything, but that didn’t make it any easier for Connor and his brothers. They had every right to refuse me sanctuary.

But they didn’t.

Now I’m with Connor, and I’ve never wanted anyone more than him. It’s not just how much he cares for me or tries to do the right thing, either. It’s something about him that I never believed in my wildest dreams could reach me.

I thought I couldn’t feel. But we fucked in the alley at the club, and even despite that, we were all over each other the second we came home. The moment in the alley just lit the spark of an inferno that burned even brighter once we were alone together.

The second Connor turned the shower on last night, I knew what would happen. I followed him in and we had sex in the shower, the hot water pouring down over us. There were moments where we both almost lost our footing, laughing as we kept going, too entangled by the intensity of our attraction to slow down.

It was incredible. And when it was over, we went to bed, falling asleep in each other’s arms.

With Connor holding me close in the morning, there’s nothing else I can imagine having in life, nowhere I’d rather be. This is better than anything I thought I’d have for the rest of my life.

It feels like things have settled between us in a way they hadn’t before. Like our lives have finally fallen into place.

Connor shifts and then rolls me over toward him, his skin warm when mine touches it. I look at him for a moment, letting my gaze roam over his handsome face and warm brown eyes. There’s a faint smile on his face.

He pulls me in slowly, kissing me sweetly. There’s a softness unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before when he kisses me. I can feel how much he cares about me.

When he pulls back, there’s a glimmer of something in his eyes as he says, “I want to take you somewhere.”

“Where?”

“It’s a surprise.”

I smile a little. Before Connor, I would have been afraid. Terrified. I would have tried to get out of it or prepared myself for the worst. This morning would not have been so warm, so perfect.

Now, I go along with him. I trust him.

It doesn’t matter where he’s taking me. I don’t need to know. All I know is that Connor cares about me, and I won’t be unsafe so long as I’m with him.

I get dressed, and we leave, his hand holding mine as he drives. I close my eyes as the sun warms my face, enjoying the early morning. I’ve seen more of the sun and the world than I ever did beneath Dmitri’s thumb or even in my father’s house.

And when I open my eyes, I see an animal shelter.

I can feel my heart ache when I see it. I know why we’re here. I know it’s because I told Connor about Dmitri. He remembered that I had a dog, remembered what Dmitri did, and he brought me here. He brought me here to prove again just how different he is, and just how much he wants me to be happy.

I turn to look at Connor, and he’s close, kissing me as soon as I face him.

He lingers for a moment longer than I expect, and I can feel my heart pound in my chest. When he finally pulls back, he’s smiling, his hand pushing my hair back so he can hold my face.

“If we’re going to be a family, we need a family dog. Don’t you think?”

The smile on my face freezes.

I know I’m good at keeping a poker face. I know Connor probably doesn’t see a thing. He can’t tell that my chest constricts when he says the word ‘family,’ in a way less pleasant than before.

Because despite how much I’ve opened up to Connor, there’s one thing I haven’t been able to bring myself to tell him yet.

It didn’t matter at first. I was sure I was going to hate him forever, sure this would be a prison of a marriage, devoid of love. I was so damn sure about all of it.

Now, I know that’s not true.

But how do I tell him I can’t have children?

Connor smiles and goes around the side of the car to open my door, and I tell myself not to think about it, not to ruin the moment. I have to forget about the pain that’s coming if I want to enjoy this.

And I want to enjoy this. I want to enjoy the way my husband is doting on me, the way he’s proving to me every moment that he listens and cares about me. I want to let myself enjoy the life we have.

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