Page 54 of Make Me Swoon

I want to scream at her. I want to tell her that I am here doing a favor for her and that she can’t treat me like this. That she shouldn’t want to treat her daughter like the help but I know that it won’t do any good.

I wonder if it’s too late to fake a headache or being sick, but I know that my mom would still make me go even if I wasn’t feeling well. She wants me here for the pictures. So that she can show her friends the perfect shiny family.

Even if it doesn’t exist.

Maybe I’ve been chasing the wrong thing. I’ll never get my dad back, but I had a great makeshift family in Destiny Falls and I left to find something better.

The truth is that there isn’t anything better.

“Let’s go,” she snaps and I grab my purse, swatting the poofy skirt of my dress down as I make my way out of the pool house and over to the waiting SUVs.

I cram in next to my other stepsister, Holly. She’s in the same color dress, but hers is more modern, sleek, and tasteful.

She’s ignoring me, busy texting her boyfriend, and I pull out my own phone as the SUV starts to move.

I find myself scrolling through my pictures, smiling as I see the ones of Sutton, Stan, Teller, and I at the Mystery Cabin or of Madelyn, Iris, and Sutton at The Fainting Goat.

I get to the ones I took with Hudson last week and my breath catches as I scroll to one of him smiling down at me.

I can see it then. How much he loves me.

The final piece of my heart breaks as I stare at that picture.

NINETEEN

Hudson: Would you ratherstay in during a snowday or build a fort?

That wasthe message that I woke up to today. It looks like he sent it around midnight and I wonder if he was headed home or if he couldn’t sleep and was thinking about me.

I type out a response, saying that I’d rather make a fort, but I hesitate to hit send.

Last night was rough. I spent six hours with a fake smile pasted on my face as I posed for pictures and made meaningless small talk with the other wedding rehearsal guests.

The wedding rehearsal went well, I guess. Heidi only had two hissy fits, so I guess that can be considered a success. The food was bland, but I’m pretty sure that I was the only one eating it. Everyone else appeared to be drinking their dinner and as the night went on, the vibe changed.

I can’t remember how many hands I had to bat away as the party started to wind down. I got slipped at least five business cards, all from men who were married and were there with their wives. I wonder if Heidi knows that this is the life that she’s going to have soon. I wonder if she cares or if as long as her husband keeps her in the lifestyle that she wants, she’ll be fine with whatever he does. Even if that means cheating on her.

Being around those people last night reminded me of Hudson’s friends. They would have complained about the food instead of what everyone was wearing, but it was still the same snotty behavior.

“Get up!” Holly screams as she pokes her head into the bedroom of the pool house.

I jack knife up in bed, staring wide-eyed at the door that she disappeared through. It’s six-thirty in the morning, but I should have known that Heidi’s wedding day would be the first time that anyone got up before eleven a.m.

The house looks like a tornado went through it. There are people running around, clothes and flowers all over the place. The usual buffet is set up and I snag a pastry as I head over to where the wedding planner is chewing on a fingernail and nervously checking her clipboard.

“Hey, Ruby. How’s it going?”

She gives me a look and I laugh.

“That bad, huh?”

“Heidi doesn’t like the flowers now because one of the bridesmaids said that they look cheap, so we’re scrambling to get different ones put together. Oh, and one of the bridesmaids put on a few pounds so Heidi called her a fat pig and now she’s crying in one of the guest bathrooms and we’re trying to find a way to let out the dress an inch or so.”

“Today is going to suck,” I groan and she nods.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the bridesmaids dropped,” she says and I don’t want to tell her this, but I’m thinking of backing out.

I don’t even know what I’m doing here. These people don’t love me. I don’t mean anything to them and if I’m being honest with myself, they don’t mean anything to me either. They might be family, but my life is better without them in it.

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