Page 69 of Make Me Swoon

“Phoenix wants to see other guys,” Finn fills her in and I swear to God both Stella and Kit wince.

“She’s not going to,” I assure them and Niall snorts behind me.

“How do you know that? Are you going to ask her out?” He taunts and I glare at him.

“No, I’m just going to forbid it.”

Stella and Kit look at me like I’m crazy and maybe I am. I didn’t get a lot of sleep the last few nights between Faith getting sick and me worrying about Phoenix trying to date other guys. Then there were all of the dreams about her bras and panties. I’ve been waking up either horny or angry the last couple of mornings, so suffice it to say that I’m not in the best mood this morning.

“Let me know how that works out for you,” Kit says as he starts to steer his wife toward the office.

I frown after them.

Yeah, maybe forbidding Phoenix from dating isn’t a good idea, but nothing else that I’ve been able to come up with has been great either. I thought that I could avoid her and then she couldn’t bring it up again, but I can’t seem to stay away from her. My only saving grace was that Faith was sick and we were both busy taking care of her to talk about much else.

Now that she’s better though…

I’m screwed.

Maybe I should just tell her how I feel.

As soon as I have that thought though, I know that I can’t. I need to think about Faith here. Maybe I can pursue Phoenix once Faith is older and doesn’t need a nanny anymore.

My will to live seems to take a nosedive as I think about lusting after Phoenix for another ten to fourteen years.

I try to push all thoughts of Phoenix and what I’m going to do about my feelings for her as I get back to training.

I push myself as I head to the weights and then into the ring to spar with Finn. He doesn’t bring up Phoenix as we fight, but it doesn’t matter. She’s never far from my mind and when we leave to head home, I still don’t have my feelings under control.

I end up taking a walk around our block once I get home. I’m still not ready to see Phoenix, not when I’m still unclear about what I want to do about my attraction to her.

By the time that I’m back home, I’m dying to climb into the shower, grab something to eat, and pass out. Maybe since I’m so tired today, I won’t dream of her tonight.

When I walk through the door, Faith comes running and I laugh as I catch her in my arms. She starts to tell me about school and what she did with her friends, and I look up as Phoenix comes into the room. Her brown hair is twisted up into a messy bun with a few strands hanging around her face. There’s some flour dusting her cheeks and I wonder what she and Faith are cooking.

She smiles at me, her gray eyes twinkling and that’s when I know that I’m in trouble here. That’s when I know that I’m going to lose this battle.

I want her more than anything.

But can I risk Phoenix quitting if things go badly between us?

SIX

Phoenix

After takingcare of a sick kid for the last four nights, you think that I would be exhausted and dying for a night where I manage to sleep all the way through.

Instead, it’s just after midnight and I’m wide awake.

My stomach rolls as I stare at the ceiling, and I wonder if I’m getting the same thing that Faith had.

I kick off the covers with a sigh and swing my legs over the side of the bed. The house is quiet and I debate my next move. I should be able to sneak downstairs for a glass of water and maybe if I turn the volume down really low, I could watch some TV without waking anyone else up.

I look down at my pajamas, wondering if I should change or put a robe on. My sleep shorts are just a little too short but I’ve had them for years and they’re my softest pair. I’ve got on a thin white tank top that molds to my curves and I think it makes me look fat, but it’s so hot that I didn’t want to put on anything warmer.

I decide to just go in my pajamas. No one else is going to wake up. Not with Faith still recovering from being sick, so I tiptoe over to the bedroom door and then down the stairs to the kitchen.

There’s a nightlight on next to the fridge and I use it to light my way over to the kitchen cabinet so I can grab a glass. I’m standing on my tiptoes when I hear footsteps and I look over my shoulder just in time to see Jameson come around the corner.

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