Page 56 of Nicoli

He launches at me, towering over me with a threatening stance, eyes burning into mine. “You have no idea how fucking hard it is to stay away from you when all I want—all I’ve ever wanted was you.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I was protecting you.”

“From what?”

“Me!”

I search his face in confusion. “What are you saying?”

“That I love you, goddammit, Mira!”

My entire world comes to a screeching halt, and my heart explodes inside my chest. Neither of us moves. We don’t even breathe under the weight of his confession. That’s when I see it, a fleeting glimpse of vulnerability hidden behind the anger that burns in his gaze. It’s a sight I’ve never seen before. A softness I never knew he had.

“I fucking love you. I always have. But I can't be with you Mira, and it is fucking eating me alive.”

I lean back against his car, afraid I might fall. “Why…why can’t you be with me?”

The mask he always wears so well slips back on, and I know the moment it does. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Are you serious right now?"

“Mira—”

“You tell me you love me and always have, but you can’t be with me. And that itdoesn’t matter?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Of course, it’s complicated. You’re a Del Rossa. Everything with you is complicated. I’ve been in this family long enough to know that there will always be secrets, and I’m okay with that. I’m okay with not knowing everything, Nicoli. But what I’m not okay with is you saying you love me but can’t be with me without giving me a reason. That’s bullshit.”

He pulls a tense hand through his hair, letting out an agonized groan, his dark hair clinging to his face, rivulets of water running down his cheeks. “This is all fucked up. I knew if I lost control with you, I’d fuck it all up. I always do.”

“You always do what?”

“Hurt you. No matter how hard I try to protect you, I always end up hurting you in the process.”

My throat tightens, and my heart knows it’s about to get plundered. “What are you saying?”

He looks away, unable to look me in the eye, when he softly speaks. “Maybe I’m not supposed to love you.”

“But you do.” I blink hard, trying to stop the onslaught of emotion threatening to pour out.

Suddenly, he’s in front of me again, his features etched with pain and despair. He grabs my face between his hands and presses his forehead against mine. His breathing is labored, his body shaking. “Please believe me when I say that everything I do, I do because I love you with every fucking fiber of my being.” He kisses me so tenderly it almost feels unreal. “But I can’t love you and protect you, Hummingbird. Believe me. I would if I could.”

Tears slip freely down my cheek as I try to nestle deeper into him, inhaling his scent and needing his warmth. None of this makes sense. I refuse to believe love would exist between two people if it’s not written in the stars. But I promised myself that Nicoli Del Rossa will never hurt me again, and I refuse to let what happened between us tonight change that.

I lift my arm and place my hand against the skin of his neck, his forehead still resting on mine, and whisper, “Leave.”

“Hummingbird, I’m sorry.”

“Just…leave, Nicoli. Get the fuck away from me and leave me alone.”

The weight in the air suffocates me, and neither one of us moves. The air is thick and heavy, crushing me inch by inch while we stand there in silence.

But finally, he nods solemnly, his touch against my skin fleeting as he steps back. He stares into my eyes for a few more seconds as if hesitating or trying to convince himself that walking away is him doing the right thing.

He turns away without another word and walks off toward the club. I’m left standing there with a million unanswered questions burning inside me like fire, watching him walk away from me like I’m some whore he just fucked. Like he does with all the others.

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