Page 98 of The Promise

“Then I got word Francesco had married and was expecting his first baby. I’d been gone for over five years. He was a man with his own ambitions for a family. He sacrificed the love component, and so did I.” She shrugged.

“Did you marry?” I wanted to know. “Have children?”

Bella shook her head. “My heart was shattered. My body and soul belonged to just one man. Sure, I had lovers here and there, but nothing captured what was broken inside.” Bella once again peered over to Francesco. He didn’t return her attention with his eyes, but he pulled her into him even more, if that were possible. The burly man was affected, just not as expressive.

“Anyway,” Bella pulled in a wet sniffle. “We never forgot each other. I’d come home eventually to check in on my sick papà every few months. And I’d be at his bedside for the first two days, then on the third night, I’d literally be snatched from my bed in my parents’ home and abducted for days…on a boat.” Her eyes sparkled in Francesco’s direction.

I sucked in a breath. “TheBella?”

Again Bella shook her head. “He’s had several before the luxury yacht you two are renting right now.TheBellais by far the largest of his fleet. We designed her together years later. But back then, when he abducted me for days at a time, in just my pajamas, we’d sail all over. Just the two of us.”

I thought of Jas’ boat at home and the many times we’d been on it. The first time we’d made love on the galley in the open air. Orgasms took on a different meaning outside and over the water for me. Those were the days when I didn’t realize shit was simple between us. It seemed the more the years had gone by, the more complicated maintaining a friendship had become…for me. Anger and resentment had swelled in my heart, but my respect for the man had not wavered—even since his recent violent bouts.

“And his wife?” I had to ask.

Francesco mumbled a string of words I didn’t understand, reminding me of my initial thoughts of him.

“No.” She lay a calming hand on his round belly. “That’s where the romance needs to be explained.” Then Bella turned back to me. “Francesco married a local girl, and that hurt me deeply. It was our cultural obligation I fled from. Yes, I would have married him and given him all the babies his heart could fit, but I wanted my own timeline. When I left Roma, I hurt him first. When I accomplished my schooling, certificate after certificate, I compromised our love and romance. So, when he decided to salvage what he could to create a family, he went for it. We both sacrificed love as we accomplished what we felt was most important to us.”

“And his wife?” I repeated.

“Ashira, chill,” Jas chided quietly.

Bella took another sip of her expresso. “Oh. I was getting to that. She…Maria shared with me, on one of my trips home, a conversation Francesco had with her when he expressed wanting to marry her. He told her he’d only have one love. He promised to always care for her and their children and to support them by any means, but his heart…his commitment…”

“Will always be with you,” I whispered my revelation, feeling a cry stuck in my throat.

Oh, how fucking hopeless love could be…

A beam of understanding spread over her olive face, and Bella nodded. “When I was done with my career…old, graying, and barren, I decided to return to my love. I was selfish and self-centered, but I’d been incomplete for over thirty years, running stubbornly. Upon returning, my love and I made a number of difficult, selfish, andus-centered decisions together. I respect Francesco’s commitment to his family. I’ve never asked him to leave his wife. And he’s supported my love of cooking…incorporating it into his vessel rental business. So…” Her head bounced again with resoluteness. “I want my cake and have it, too.”

Like me…

Bella’s mistake on the idiom wasn’t funny to me this time. It caused me to deliberate quietly.

I didn’t have to come here to Europe with Jas for Chi-Chi. There were countless ways we could express our familial unit without a joint vacation. I’d subconsciously decided to make myself available to him in this way.Why?When my parents split, they made no sacrifices to spend time together for me. Why had I accepted Jas’ imposing presence in my world? Why did I agree to carry out my pregnancy with Chivon after learning of his acquisition of my father’s company?

Have I been lowkey wanting my cake and having it, too?

I chewed on that for the remainder of our expresso, then a serving of amaro, supposedly to help digestion. Francesco was the first to announce their need to leave. We’d be separated from them until we set sail tomorrow evening. He had to check in with his wife and family, and Bella had to shop for more perishables and spices for our upcoming meals.

Jas and I stood for the goodbyes. As I embraced Bella, I thanked her for sharing their story with me and assured them there was no judgment on my part. Quite honestly, I didn’t think Bella cared. I understood it was their love to have and protect. Security escorted them off while mine and Jas’ stayed behind with us.

“You’ve been quiet for the past twenty minutes,” Jas noted.

I nodded while rubbing my chilled arms. “Buried in my thoughts.”

“Care to share?”

“I thought he was the mafia.”

Jas’ head leaped back as though dazed then he nodded. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

I shrugged. “I’m just being honest.” My gaze got lost in the porcelain vase serving as the centerpiece on the small white-cloth, square table. “I’m not too prideful to admit when I’m wrong. I didn’t know he ownedThe Bellayacht.”

“There’s lots of shit you don’t know, Ashira.” His volume mild…delivery fair, but undertone nippy. “The world is vast and full of unfamiliar wonders. I think the more you stick with what you don’t know, the more you learn and grow.”

A flame ignited in my belly, and I hissed, “You don’t think in all of my thirty-five years I’ve tried things I didn’t know about or wasn’t familiar with?”

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