Page 22 of Exposed

“You feel guilty for the happiness you had with Miller,” he said. It wasn’t a question. He said it like he knew it was true.

I shook my head. “I don’t…I…I don’t regret anything. Except for hurting Matt. I never meant to hurt him.”

“Then I don’t understand why you look so sad. You said it yourself…he still loves you. If he loves you, he forgives you. It’s time to move on from the past.”

“It’s not that simple, Tanner.”

“Well, when are you seeing him next?”

“Tomorrow… Wait. How did you even know that Matt and I spoke tonight?”

“Besides the dried tears on your cheeks? I told him to go to you.”

The way he said ‘go to you’ made me smile. “So you planned the homecoming float thing. And then pressured him to come speak to me at my grave? It sounds like you’re more invested in this than he is.”

“Your grave?”

“Yeah. I was visiting my uncle and Matt showed up.”

“I didn’t tell him to go to your grave. I told him to call you.”

“Oh.” I pressed my lips together. I hadn’t had time to think about why Matt had shown up. But there was nothing more enlightening than that. “He prefers the dead me over the alive me.”

“No. He just doesn’t know the new you yet. You need to give him a chance. And honestly? It sounds like the only thing holding you back is yourself. Whether you want to call it guilt or not. Guilt for what you did all those years ago. Or the guilt you feel for wanting to love again. Of betraying what you had with Miller.”

I found myself nodding. I did feel guilty. Maybe a little for being so happy while Matt had been so sad. And definitely for even thinking about a future with Matt, when my heart was still with Miller.

“I’ll give you the same advice Miller did. The same advice your mom gave you. Don’t waste time, Brooklyn.”

I heard Miller’s voice in my head:“Don’t waste another second of your time on this earth. Will you promise me that? Do this one last thing for me?”

“I know everything feels hopeless right now,” Tanner said. “I know you’re hurting. But I’m sitting here telling you that you can have happiness again. With Matt. Because if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that Matt still loves you.”

Matt had told me he loved me several times. That he never stopped loving me.

I could have said it back. But Tanner was right, guilt had wrapped around my chest. I thought I had stopped loving Matt. I’d tried to stop. I’d fallen in love with someone else.

But even if I had stopped, it didn’t change how I felt now. I loved Matthew Caldwell. I did. Part of me wished it wasn’t true. But the other part? The bigger one? I felt hopeful.

That maybe my life wasn’t over.

Because it had felt over.

“You love him right?” Tanner asked.

I nodded. “I’m worried that I never stopped.” I wiped the stupid tears off my cheeks.

“Thengo to him.”

I laughed. “It’s late, Tanner.”

He grabbed a tissue and handed it to me. “Brooklyn, it’s never too late.”

I got what he was saying. But it was literally almost midnight. “I think he needs some time to process everything I told him. I’ll text him tomorrow.”

“He goes to James’ house every Sunday for the game. You need to talk to him before then or someone else might tell him about your son.”

I nodded. “I’ll tell him.” I sighed. “He’s going to be mad at you for not telling him I was alive. He’s going to be mad at all his friends. God, and Kennedy…”