Page 135 of Fighting Mr. Knight

My gaze connects with the happy girl graduating on the wall. She had no clue what was happening around her. All she cared about was parties, getting laid and making sure she got enough points to graduate with honours.

Ignorance really is bliss.

“You intentionally chose Phil,” I say flatly.

“Do you blame me?”

I don’t know. I always had a sneaking suspicion Mum met Phil before she split from Dad. Phil earned more money in a month than Dad did in a year.

If Olivia got robbed, would I be happy?

I answer him with another question. “Did Phil know it was you?”

“I think so. Maybe that’s why he gave everything up without a fuss.” He pours himself another measure. It smells cheap and foul, not like the stuff Jack drinks. “He had everything he wanted.”

I watch him sink most of the glass in one swallow.

“So, the second time, everything seemed easier. Everyone knew Knight sauntered around the pub flashing his son’s cash. It meant nothing to him.” He pauses. “Gleeson and I hadn’t planned it that night, but Knight had a skinful in the White Horse and was firing twenties down as tips as if they were pennies.”

I feel something rise in my chest. The dread again.

I can tell he wants to tell me everything, but I take it back. I don’t want to know. I want him to stop talking.

“We felt like he was rubbing it in our faces.”

He sighs. It’s a horrible sound that I feel right in my gut. A low wheezy noise too big for his chest.

“All we wanted was the damn wallet and jewellery. He should have handed it over. Lord knows there was plenty more where it came from. But Knight thought he was invincible.” His shoulders slump. “Knight goaded him. Gleeson. Before I knew what was happening Gleeson had stabbed him.”

“No, No, No,” I hear myself saying. I repeat what Dad’s telling me in my head, trying to rearrange his words so that they have a different meaning.

I stare at his frightened eyes and protruding bones creating unhealthy angles. Small blood vessels are broken across his face.

Dad was an attractive man in his day, back when I was Daddy’s girl, helping my dad at the Saturday market. I thought that he was the smartest, most courageous man on earth.

Now I don’t know this man.

I can barely breathe.

All I can do is stare at the stranger in front of me.

“You lied to me.” I swallow. “You made me believe that you were scared of Wicks.”

“I had to, love,” he pleads. “Gleeson might not have the same leverage as Wicks, but I wasn’t going to go up against him. I would have had a lit newspaper through my letterbox.”

You’re not courageous. You never were. You’re a coward.

How have I not realised how cold the flat is until now? I shiver and rub my arms vigorously. What I wouldn’t do to be in a steaming, excruciatingly hot bath.

“Does Mum know?” I ask, my teeth chattering.Please God, don’t say she’s in on this.

“Of course she doesn’t.”

I nod. It’s the only redeemable moment of the night.

“You need to go to the police.” I try for a calm and authoritative tone as if I’m telling him he needs to go to the dentist more than once every five years. It’s way off the mark. I’m breathy and frantic. “Jack will find out.”

He looks at me as if I’ve struck him across the face. “Do you want to see your old man go to jail for an accident that happened a long time ago? Is that it? Because the Knights won’t go easy on me. Wicks isn’t the only one with coppers on his payroll.”

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