Page 17 of Fighting Mr. Knight

“Nisha’s right,” Kate says softly. “It’s time you started having fun again.”

Nodding, I sigh. “Fine. I’ll join one of the dating apps.” It’s probably healthier than trying to be a cyber detective to find out who Danielle is.

“I’ll need to train you up first,” Nisha says beside me. “You’re too green. It’s like sending Bambi out into a field of wolves. As far as online dating goes, you might as well have been born yesterday.”

Kate leans forward to give Nisha a look. “Oh, Nish, stop being so overdramatic. We’ll go and watch the rugby in a pub and talk to some nice men.”

Nisha snorts. “For God’s sake, Kate, you are in no position to give dating advice. Meeting IRL is an extinct concept.”

“Meeting who?” I ask, putting my indicators on to turn into the manor’s driveway.

“In real life,”Nisha explains. “There’s a brutal dating world out there that you’ve not been privy to. I’ve been around the dating block for a few years. These days, you don’t sit in a pub looking pretty and wait fornice mento approach you.” She rolls her eyes in disgust. “People are disposable. Too much choice. When you go on a date, you might think it went great, but you need to remember that you are on a conveyorbelt of vaginas and there’s a good chance you’ll get ghosted.”

Kate replies, “I hardly think—”

“She’s right,” Becky cuts in. “Last year, I dated a guy for three months. I was gonna introduce him to you, Kate. Remember lanky dentist Tom? Then he ghosted me. Three months! The only decent explanation I would have accepted was if he had passed away. Then I saw him on another dating app! People today can’t even be bothered to send a simple message saying, ‘I’m not interested anymore.’”

Kate’s quiet for a moment. “That was very rude of the dentist.”

I frown. “You guys aren’t exactly selling dating apps.”

“It’s fine.” Nisha shrugs. “You’ll develop thick skin after the first few dates.”

“I don’t want to develop thick skin. Is there any way I can stay away from the nasties? What do I need to look out for?”

She thinks for a moment. “Men who don’t transition online to offline. They get their kicks chatting. Gaslighting. Love bombing. Catfishing. Those types of things.”

Becky leans forward from the back seat. “Men who tell you you’re amazing, then you never hear from them again. Amazing spicy banter one minute, then radio silence the next. Men who straight up tell you they don’t find you attractive within the first few minutes of a date. That can hurt.”

“One guy I dated wanted me to lick his perineum on the third date,” Nisha casually tells us.

My mouth hangs open. “That seems very intimate. It’s so close to the ass. What’s even down there?” I’ve never investigated that wasteland.

“I never checked. I ghosted him.”

“Sounds like I’d be better off writing to a death row inmate,” I mutter.

“Married men,” Becky adds, “that’s a bummer. Or just men with girlfriends.”

“Men with multiple girlfriends,” Nisha chimes in. “Guys shorter than their profile claims.”

“Guysolderthan their profile claims,” Becky counters in this weird ping-pong.

“Men who live with their mums,” Nisha adds, groaning. “That’s my showstopper.”

I tilt my head to give her a double take. “What, but everything else you listed is fine?”

Kate and I exchange looks in the mirror. “Here I was thinking that the only ones to avoid were those posing in the gym. This all sounds very draining.” I sigh. “I guess I was spoiled with Max. He always treated me well.”

Nisha mutters something inaudible.

I blow out a breath. “Maybe I’ll stick with my werewolf book-boyfriends.”

“Werewolves!” Nisha tuts. “Reverse harem. Other technical things I can’t remember. How is anyone supposed to live up to that?”

“That’s like gang-bangs?” Becky asks excitedly. “Having sex with loads of men at the same time? Yeah, you need a specialised dating app for that. I never thought you had it in you, Bonnie.”

“What? No,” I snap. “Look, it’s just fiction. If you read horror, do you spend Halloween in a crazed clown mask, living in gutters, and killing people in small towns? No. I only read about it. I don’t doanyof the things I read about.”

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