Page 18 of Fighting Mr. Knight

God, I sound like a loser.

Nisha shakes her head. “It’s time, though. If you’re not careful, you’ll end up seventy and surrounded by vibrators and cats. You need to get your head out of those books and deal with real men again. Farts and all.”

I chew on my lips.

I think of my battery-operated gentle lovers who treat me so well and don’t have the capacity to gaslight, love bomb or catfish me. Their only purpose in life is to serve me pleasure.

Then a visual of a naked Jack Knight flashes before me.

I bet even his perineum wasteland is hot.

“Okay.” I grin at Nisha. “I’ll do it. I’ll set up a profile.”

Satisfied, she rolls her head on the seat and massages her forehead. “That’s good. We’ll have you addicted in no time.”

“In your new dating profile, are you going to tell them you want a group of men?” Kate pipes up from the back.

I ignore her.

We drive up to find a sausage fest on the lawn, everyone drinking beers and bantering loudly.

“Is that all he’s going to fucking do?” Kate shrieks as Sean appears on the lawn with more beers. “Does he think this is some type ofholiday?”

Probably. I made that mistake too.

“Kate,” Sean shouts as we get out of the car. “Love of my life, come join us.”

She glares incredulously at him. “Are you drunk? You do realise that we’re getting married tomorrow?”

He saunters over and wraps his arm around her, ignoring her scowl. “Don’t worry, love. All the hard work will pay off and soon we’ll be relaxing on our honeymoon, doing sweet FA.”

That’s the wrong answer for Kate. “You’ve been doing sweet FA since we got here.”

Becky and I exchange glances.

“He’s right, Kate. Relax,” I say. “Everything’s ready for tomorrow. It’ll be a fabulous day, then you have your honeymoon in a few weeks.”

“We’ll likely sit beside the pool in the hotel drinking like he’s doing now.” She crosses her arms. “While Sean works on his beer belly.”

He laughs. “That’s the best kind of holiday. You can work on your tan, love, and I’ll work on my beer belly.”

“Uh, do not think we are turning into that married couple.”

“There are plenty of mountains to hike in the Canary Islands. Make sure you keep Sean busy, Kate.”

I turn to see Jack grinning at us.

“No fucking chance.” Sean groans. “Jack’s idea of a relaxing holiday is free climbing over a mountain with wild bears for company.”

Jack chuckles. “I highly recommend it. Me, a tent, the mountains, that’s all I need for a successful holiday.”

“Sounds amazing,” I mutter. “My type of holiday.”

Jack looks at me. “Do you climb, Bonnie?”

“Uh, no. I just meant I like the sound of getting away from people.” I need more hobbies. “I went on a running holiday once.” It’s the most interesting thing I can conjure up.

“That’s right, Sean told me you were a runner. You’re doing the London Marathon this year? I’m doing it too.”

---