Page 100 of Fifth Avenue Fling

***

Three hours later.

“I thought you’d want to see this.” I stare at the smiling photo of Harlow on the tombstone. “It’s got Teagan’s name in Irish on it. You would get her something like this. You always bought more thoughtful presents than me.” I chuckle. “I just throw money at a problem.”

“It’s beautiful,” she answers me. “I love it.”

“Clodagh made it. She’s got talent. She could make a go of it if she had some business mentorship. I’ve been thinking about offering her help.”

Harlow remains silent.

I guess I shouldn’t tell her about someone I was intimate with.

I put Clodagh’s present under my coat as spits of rain come down.

“She’s thirteen, Harlow,” I whisper. “She’s growing up too quickly. Soon, she’ll want to leave me too.”

“You can’t keep babying her, Killian,” she scolds me. “You have to let her make her own mistakes. She needs more freedom now.”

Inhaling deeply, I close my eyes. Even the pretend voice of Harlow makes me feel guilty.

The fucking guilt never goes away.

The guilt of failing to protect Harlow.

The guilt of being a shit father.

Now I have the guilt of crossing the line with Clodagh.

The guilt of feeling something I shouldn’t.

I don’t believe in ghosts. The souls of the dead do not rise from the grave to take care of their loved ones.

Harlow lives only in Teagan’s and my imaginations. Harlow is now nothing more than my eternal guilt.

The humming of the lawnmower is the only thing that breaks the silence as I walk away.

TWENTY-TWO

Clodagh

Orla: What did you get?

I smile to myself as I meander through Central Park, typing a response to her.

Me: Everything. Underwear. Shoes. Black sexy dress.

I send her a picture of me in my fuck-you-Killian-Quinn outfit.

Fuck you, Killian Quinn.

Fuck you and your ridiculously blue eyes, stupid, handsome face, and big dick.

And fuck me.

Fuck me for obsessing over you and your ridiculously blue eyes and your stupid, handsome face and your big dick.

And for letting myself become a miserable emotional wreck because of a guy.Again.

---