Page 157 of Fifth Avenue Fling

Once we’re out of earshot, I turn to him. “Are you here on holiday?”

His lips curl into a soft smile as he holds my gaze for a few seconds. “Of sorts.”

I nod, working hard not to let my frozen smile slip. I don’t know how to react.

I’m standing at the edge of a cliff. One misstep and I’ll become completely undone, pounding my fists on the ground and howling like a madwoman.

“That’s nice,” I force out, my voice barely creaking past the lump in my throat. “You should drive along the Wild Atlantic Way. It’s great to see the sights. Or see it by helicopter. However you’re getting around.”

He drags his hand through his hair, now darkened from the rain. “I’m going to cut to the chase.”

Heart pounding, I stand still and stare at him. “Go ahead.”

“I made a mistake. A huge mistake.” He looks down at me with those same icy-blue eyes that have haunted my dreams since I left New York. “One I’ve regretted ever since.” Up close, under his eyes looks dark from lack of sleep. “I should never have ended things between us.”

“Are you telling me this while swinging by on your way to the coast or something?” I ask, my voice wavering.

“No. I came here to do this. I came here for you—us. That’s why I’m in Ireland.” He glances over at Teagan, who appears to have broken a vase. “Shit. That’s why we’re both here.”

That’s why he’s in Ireland?

He steps closer until he’s a breath away from me. I never thought I’d see him again now he’s here, standing in front of me. His scent hits me, and I want to reach out and take what I want. “I miss you, Clodagh. The house feels so empty without you. My life feels so empty without you.Ifeel empty. I’m asking you to give me another chance.” His breath hitches as he pauses. “To forgive me.”

I clench my jaw to keep back the tears threatening to escape.You broke my fucking heart, asshole.“You were the one who ended us. You don’t get to decide when you want to waltz back into my life.”

His face falls. He looks flustered. This is a first.

The urge to rush into his waiting arms and melt against his body overwhelms me. But then I remember the expression on his face that day in the office. Cold and detached.

No. My heart won’t survive any more breakage.

“What happens when you change your mind again and decide you don’t want to fuck the nanny?”

He winces. “It wasn’t like that. I thought I was ending it for your own good.”

“My own good?” I ask in disbelief.

“Alfred Marek attacked you because of me. You’re safer without me around.”

I snort in disbelief. “It was hardly an attack, Killian.”

“It could have been worse.”

I almost laugh. “Everything could be worse! I fell in a gravel pit when I was ten and broke my leg. It could have been worse then too. The other day, I left my straightener on in Mam’s house. That could have been way worse,” I say, throwing my hands up in frustration. “You could torment yourself thinking that way about everything.”

“I know. I have my own demons that I’m trying to conquer. I’m seeing a therapist. I don’t want to make the same mistakes I made in the past.”

“What’s changed? Why the change of heart?”

“I realized it has to be your decision whether you think we’re worth the risk.” He gives a sad smile. “And honestly, I’m selfish. I don’t want to let you go.”

“You hurt me,” I whisper.

“I’m sorry.” He tries to draw me closer, but I pull out of his reach.

“No.” I shake my head. I can’t do this again. “It’s too late now.”

He stares at me, his face clouded in anguish.

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