Page 158 of Fifth Avenue Fling

“Bullshit. It’s not too late. We’re both alive.”

It’s a bit gloomy, but I can’t argue with that.

“I’m getting a flight to London tomorrow.Iwanttostart overthere.”

All the color drains from his face. “Do you want to be with me?”

Yes.

I don’t respond.

“I’m in love with you, Clodagh. I’m so in love with you.”

I reel at his words, my heart skipping a beat. A spark of hope ignites in my chest, a fleeting feeling that threatens to overwhelm me if I allow it. My mind screams in warning not to trust him again. My heart and head are in a deadly battle, each vying for control over my fragile emotions.

I love you too, Killian Quinn.

“Why me?”

“I’ve asked myself that question many times.”

“Gee, thanks,” I say sarcastically.

“At times, you drive me up the wall. You really know how to push my buttons. You have no filter, and you do some outrageous things, and it drives my OCD insane.”

I narrow my eyes at him.

“But you’re also a beautiful, warm, intelligent woman who makes me laugh. No matter what I’m doing, I can’t help but imagine it would be more fun with you. Whether it’s sitting on the couch watching a movie or flying over Manhattan in a helicopter. You’re always at the back of my mind. I haven’t felt this way in so long, and I won’t let it go.”

A tiny squeak escapes me.

“Clodagh.” He takes my hand, and this time, I let him. I haven’t felt his touch in so long. “When we first met, you said you thought you were a good role model. Well, you’re right. You are the best influence my daughter could have.”

Another squeak. My knees are about to give out. I won’t remind him that our first meeting was actually with me on my knees with soaps and glass.

Stay strong, woman.

“I don’t know if I can trust you again,” I finally say.

He nods as if accepting this. As if he expected this. “I can work at winning back your trust. Answer my question. Do you want to be with me?”

Yes.

I want to say yes. I want to shout it.

Fear keeps my mouth shut. I can’t say the words.

“Do you want to go to London? Is that truly what you want?”

“Yes,” I say. No. Maybe. I don’t know. My throat is tight and full of fear. I don’t want to open my heart to him only for him to crush it again as he did before.

Fresh tears brim in my eyes. “I have to go, Killian.”

He looks so sad as he says, “Your green card to the States has been processed. You can live and work where you want. Look, I’ll give you space but don’t let this be why you don’t come back home.”

Home.

Where is home for me now?

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