Page 16 of Chorus of Ashes

The knife thrummed at his calf, its power unmistakable, as Rian ducked his head in the dark water and made quick work of rinsing himself. The shock of the icy water against his skin had at first burned, but now as the numbness settled in, Rian focused on that feeling.Numbwas what he wanted to be. Needed to be. It was easier to make decisions that aligned with his ultimate goal of revenge if he didn’t have emotions clouding his vision.

And Terra? She was like a thorn in his side. What he should be doing right now is calling upon the Goddess Domnu and handing the knife over so he could seek his revenge. Instead, Terra’s kiss was making him pause and take his time with his next steps. He didn’t like the power she held over him. He’d need to change that. In business, when a problem presented itself in a negotiation, Rian didn’t always bulldoze his way through. Sometimes he’d step back and have a go at it from another angle, in order to see if there was a different way to get what he wanted.

Now, with Terra, he wondered if there was a way to get more than he’d originally set out for. Could he seek his revengeandwin her over? The very thought of having Terra sent warmth spiraling through his entire body, and the knife hummed happily at his leg. Annoyed, Rian pushed those thoughts aside and left the stream, using his shirt to towel off his body before rinsing his pants in the water. He had more clothes back at the settlement. Deciding to take a cue from Terra, he walked naked across the field, ignoring how happy the Earth was to have him there, and how the moonlight gently caressed his body. It had been years since he’d walked barefoot in the grass, connecting with the energy of the Earth, and he’d forgotten the rush of power that the Earth Fae would get when touching their bare feet to the ground. No wonder Terra was always naked in the wilds — she was constantly recharging her magick. No matter how much Rian tried to ignore the buzz of power that radiated through him when connecting with the Earth again, he couldn’t quite freeze it all the way out.

Part of him wasn’t sure he wanted to.

And that was the real problem, wasn’t it? Being near Terra was making him think and feel things that didn’t align with how he’d structured his world since his exile. Part of the reason he’d done so was because if he could block out the emotions, then he wouldn’t be prone to rash decisions or ridiculous fits of anger. Cool, calculated, and controlled was the only way forward.

Callahan waited at the door to his converted cottage, a knowing grin on his face as he took in Rian’s appearance.

“You look … relaxed,” Callahan commented, following Rian inside though he hadn’t invited the man to do so.

“I was washing the day’s grime off. No need to live in my own filth just because we’re all but camping out here,” Rian bit off.

“Right.” When Callahan said no more, Rian turned to find the man staring at the knife strapped to his calf. Callahan’s expression was one of sadness and resignation, though he quickly schooled it when he caught Rian looking at him.

“Do you have something to be saying, Callahan? Out with it,” Rian said as he grabbed another pair of pants and tugged them over his legs, concealing the knife from Callahan’s watchful eyes.

“You’ve taken the amulet from Lady Terra … or did she give it to you?” Callahan asked, his tone crisp around the edges.

“I took it,” Rian said. He should feel satisfied by his maneuver, that even though she’d managed to gain the upper hand, quite literally, during their little tryst, he hadn’t altogether lost his head. “Any other questions?”

“Of course, sir. What are your plans now that you have it? Will we be moving on shortly then?” Callahan was aware of the plan to hand the Earth Fae’s amulet over to the Domnua though he strongly disagreed with it.

“That was the plan, wasn’t it?” Rian bit out.

“It was. I’m just clarifying our steps forward and seeing if your plans had changed.”

“Why would my plans have changed?” Rian dropped onto a bench and crossed his arms over his bare chest, leveling a questioning look at Callahan. Despite his need to keep his harsh exterior, he couldn’t help but soften when he looked at Callahan. The man had been his most loyal friend and had helped him whenever he’d asked for it. Even when Callahan had disagreed with something that Rian was doing, he still stayed by his side. As much as Rian hated being questioned, the man had earned the right to do so.

“Because life is subject to change, isn’t it?” Callahan took a seat on the corner of the bed and crossed his legs at the ankles. “I think we both know well enough that our paths can divert in an instant. Will you be handing the knife over?”

“I…” Rian sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. He wasn’t a liar. He could be brutal in his honesty, but he’d still be truthful. “I don’t rightly know what I’ll be doing yet. I thought the answer would be so simple. Get the knife and revenge is mine. Yet I’m hesitating to make that decision. I don’t like it. You know me well enough to know that I prefer a clear path forward. It’s like … I suddenly can’t see what was once so clear for me. It’s all gotten muddled up in my brain, and I’m not sure what the best choice is.”

“You know what I say when things are like that?” Callahan asked, twisting a simple gold band he always wore on his index finger.

“What’s that?” Rian suspected he already knew the answer.

“Wait.”

When Rian just looked at Callahan with frustration, the old man rocked backwards with laughter.

“Patience, me boy. If you can’t see the way out, then give it a little time. Your vision is shrouded for a reason, don’t you think? Would you regret handing the knife over before you can see straight?”

“Yes.” Rian sighed. “I would regret the decision. It’s not one I make lightly, even though I understand that it could be my path to redemption.”

“Give it a few days then. What can change all that much in that time anyway? It’s not like the Goddess Domnu expected you to locate the dagger so quickly. It’s likely she’ll be thinking you’re still on a quest to get it. She won’t think that forever, but I’m guessing you’ve got a buffer of a few days before the Domnua start sniffing around. Use that time to gain clarity on your path.”

“How?” Rian demanded. “You think absolution lies in this isolated island in the middle of the ocean? What answers could possibly come to me here?”

“Ah, boyo. I’ve had some choice words for you over the years, but stupid has never been one of them. I’m of the mind to revise that opinion just now though.” Callahan stood and crossed to the door.

“Wait, you’re calling me stupid and walking away? I thought you were meant to be my trusted advisor. Isn’t that your job? To advise?” Rian all but growled in frustration.

“Oh, now I’m an advisor? I thought you introduced me to your friends as a butler. If I’m just a butler, then, I think I’ve taken care of my duties, haven’t I?” Callahan scooped up the wet clothes that Rian had abandoned on the floor. “I’ll just see to hanging these out to dry.”

“Cantankerous old coot,” Rian muttered as Callahan slipped through the door.

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