Page 93 of Beautiful Lies

Used to,until me.

Fuck.

The blood rushes from my face and the Russian beer threatens to work its way up my throat. Somewhere nearby a waitress drops a plate, the noise cutting through the blood rushing in my ears, and everyone claps. That’s when I get up from the table and rush into the bathroom.

Reality has crashed down on me, hard, and everything feels like it’s unraveling like a loose thread on a sweater, one little tug and the whole sweater comes apart. Admittedly I was enjoying my secret world, the one where I got to be someone else, where no one knew the real me.

Taylor saw me, and I’m certain she remembered who I was. Of course, I could be just another patron enjoying a night out with friends listening to music, except no one would believe that by the way Adrian and I were looking at each other. After washing my hands I grab for a towel, and see that stupid heart with mine and Steven’s initials – the heart that should have been erased or drawn over a long time ago. Frustrated, I give it the middle finger for no other reason than to make myself feel better, but when I turn around, there stands Taylor.

Momentarily, I’m thrown off kilter, the three-inch heels nearly breaking my ankle, but Taylor manages to catch me before I make an even bigger spectacle.

“Shit!” I yelp and then adjust the strap on my shoe. “Thank you. I’m usually not that clumsy.”

“You’re Lake, Beth’s sister.” She doesn’t say it as a question but rather a statement.

“And you’re Taylor,” I pause hesitating to say Adrian’s girlfriend, which is how she introduced herself to me initially, but instead I say, “Laura’s friend.”

By the look on her face, this feels like a standoff in the girl’s bathroom in high school and I am too old for this.

“It was nice to see you again.” I try to exit the bathroom, but Taylor stops me.

“So you’re the reason Adrian and I aren’t together,” she says from behind me.

Slowly turning back around, I notice her jet black hair falling over her shoulder in waves, dark brown eyes partially hidden behind beautiful long black eyelashes, which I’m sure are fake. She’s recognizably beautiful, and as I narrow my eyes at her, I still see the same person who was kind to me at the bridal shower, the girl who had no idea that I fucked her ‘boyfriend’ the night before.

Adrian and I haven’t talked much about Taylor since the night of the rehearsal dinner, partially because I haven’t asked, and because I didn’t think I had anything to worry about.

Shoving my hands in the pockets of my shirt dress, I ask, “Then why are you here tonight?” She knows that I’m with him, and it’s beneath me to deny it.

“Same reason you are,” she says.

“I suppose you’re right.” I give her a tight smile.

She will tell Laura what she saw tonight, there’s no denying that. I have lulled myself into this fantasy that I could have my cake and eat it too. Nobody would have to know, and nobody would get hurt – least of all me. This is a stark reminder that I’m past my expiration date.

When I walk out of the bathroom I don’t even look at the stage and head right for the exit. I only make it to the street when I hear Adrian call after me.

“Hey!” The familiar voice has less impact than it did the first time. In fact, I want to un-hear it. I want to erase it from my memory.

I don’t want to turn around and see him standing on the street, this man whom I’d given more to than I’d allowed myself with anyone else. Now I feel stupid for letting my guard down, thinking this could be my reality.

“You’re just going to leave?” Adrian says angrily and I finally turn around.

“Why is she here?” I turn around pointing to the bar.

“You’re upset about Taylor?” he asks, frustrated.

“Of course I’m fucking upset about Taylor.” I look at him flabbergasted, because how can he not see what a problem this is for me and for him?

“There’s no need to be jealous of her,” he says innocently, and I know he doesn’t mean it as an insult, but it still irritates me.

Walking towards him, I close the gap. “Do I look like the kind of woman who would be jealous over some girl?” I ask coldly.

“I don’t know, Lake. You stormed out of the bar. You tell me.” He flaps his arms to his sides with frustration.

“She will tell Laura.” I point towards the entrance of the bar, and when Adrian doesn’t acknowledge the gravity of the situation, I continue, “And my sister will know about us.”

“Maybe this is a good thing, Lake. I didn’t want to lie to them in the first place,” he raises his voice.

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