Page 44 of The Widow's Dom

She sighed and put the things she had in her arms down on the chair next to the bed, pulled her t-shirt off, and then the rest until she was in front of him.

“Good girl. Now lay down on the bed.”

She climbed up and got to her back.

He nodded. “Good.” He took some things out of the nightstand and stuffed them under one of the pillows out of her sight.

Nick laid down on his side and simultaneously placed his hand on her stomach, propping his head up with his elbow to see her expression. His eyes never wavered from her. He did that a lot, and it unnerved her at times.

“Now that we’re comfortable, tell me what made you run.”

She lifted her hand and pressed it against his cheek. “You’ll give me the whole truth if I ask you something?”

He nodded. “Every time.”

“I think … no, Iknowyou want children, and since I can’t have them for you, I think you should find a woman that can.”

She knew she couldn’t hide the pain and certainly not the few tears that escaped.

“Where did you get that idea from? I thought we discussed this already.”

“We have. But people change their minds all the time.”

He studied her for a moment. “Tell me more, like where you got this idea.”

“A few weeks ago…”

“You’ve been thinking about this for weeks and haven’t come to me?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t know if I was putting too much into your words, so I waited.”

“Go on,” he said.

“Someone was talking about his son, it might have been Dennis, but I can’t remember. He talked about baseball practice he had to coach, and you said you always thought you’d have at least one boy to do a thing like that with.” She sighed and looked away. “I moved away before I heard anything else.”

It looked like he was concentrating on what she said.

“I wish you’d listened to the rest of it, Baby. The next thing I said was I’m glad I’m not having kids because I like my freedom too much, which is the truth. I want my time to be spent with you.”

“But then I overheard you talking to someone on the phone a few minutes ago. You told him you were getting over it because you’d rather be with me. Then you said you’d get used to it. Wanting kids and choosing not to have them are not the same, Nick, if you’re giving them up to be with me.”

He sighed and wrapped a hand around the back of her neck. “Unfortunately, I can see where you would get that. In both instances, if you had waited another minute, you would have gotten my true feelings and thoughts on the matter. The first time I already told you, I chose with or without you not to have children. Most of my friends are that way, too. Maybe it’s because of the things we saw and did overseas and don’t want to bring children into this world.”

The knot in her stomach eased a bit, but she still wasn’t convinced.

“The talk I had with Jake was about my feelings for you. From the start, they’ve been deep and mind-blowing, and I was … am having a problem with them.”

“I don’t understand. Isn’t it good to feel like that with the person you’re sleeping with?” she asked.

His thumb caressed her cheek, and his expression softened. “Yes, but mine are going toward the obsessive stage.”

She was thrilled to hear that. She wanted him to want her that much.

“I see you’re hearing me, but I can’t show or explain how deep I’m in. I started out being possessive of you that first night at the barn party, and it’s just grown into something that might scare the shit out of you.”

“Why would it scare me?”

“Because I want to be with you all the time. I want to make love several times a day just to get as close as I can to you. I’ve been through combat and had nightmares when I got back, but my nightmares now are about losing you, and they’re three times worse. I wouldn’t be able to breathe.”

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