Page 84 of Claiming the Mafia Queen

But the first time she told me that, I’d just gotten beat up by a kid five years older. He called me fatso and shoved me to the ground before beating me to a bloody pulp.

I was seven.

The kid was twelve.

Ever since then, I knew I couldn’t depend on her to be my mom anymore. She was just Madam Rosa.

I understood at that moment.

I would never make her proud by being a normal person.

I sigh and shove all the emotions down. I can’t do this. I can’t think about this right now. All I need to focus on is Aria, and getting her the hell out of the fire.

“If it comes down to it, whose side are you going to be on?” Alessandro asks as soon as we stand up from the bar. “Because we need to know.”

I look at Frankie and then to Luigi and then to all the other men surrounding the upstairs lounge and nod solemnly. “I’ll be on your side.”

If I’d known all of this was going to happen, I wouldn’t have so proudly taken the assignment. It’s crazy to think, I almost didn’t take it…

I thought about blowing it off to fix up the Mustang with Josh. That was my plan before she came knocking…

It’s funny how things work out…

Both the best and worst thing in the world came from that one decision.

On the one hand, Aria’s in danger…

But on the other hand? I fell in love with her.

I fell in love for the first time.

I felt something more than rage or fear for the first time in as long as I can remember. I even felt wanted for a while…

And that’s something I’ve never felt.

My father would’ve preferred I was never born.

And my mom? She had decided I was better suited as a weapon than as her son.

It’s all hurtful. This is the first time I’m able to actually admit it to myself.

It was devastating.

Sometimes even torture.

I watch as a tear rolls down Alessandro’s cheek.

I kneel in front of him. He looks like a man…

But in so many ways, he’s still a boy…

“She’s going to be ok…” I promise. I can only hope I don’t eat my words.

His lips are raw, almost bloody. I wonder if he’s been biting them the entire time, nervously.

“I feel like I’m suffocating…” he says, his voice raw.

I know I’m not the best in these situations, but I understand the feeling of suffocating.

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