Page 60 of Loving Nightmares
“We should wake her up,”I said, not loving the idea but knowing it was necessary with everything we had planned today. She’d stayed up late last night, so even though it was almost noon and she hadn’t woken up naturally, I was still hesitating.
“Let me go make her some coffee,” Damian suggested, sitting up from her other side. I nodded, agreeing that having fresh coffee for Arabella was usually the best move. Unless…
“Tea. Do green tea,” I said casually. Perhaps a bittoocasually. Damian caught on though and nodded, looking towards her coffee bar and sighing.
“Alright, give me five.”
I sank further into the bed, pulling Arabella against me, more than happy to not have to go anywhere just yet. I studied my love’s face and noticed she looked a bit more tired than normal, making me think that my suspicion was accurate.
It helped that I knew Arabella obsessively well—we all did—and it didn’t escape my notice that it had been over a month since she’d stopped taking her pill and had a period. She’d beencrazy busy with all of the changes happening across the nation and the part ISS was playing in all of it, and it had been top of mind for all of us. We’d attempted to keep her stress free as much as possible, but I didn’t know if it was enough. Maybe once I confirmed my theory and she realized it, she’d be willing to slow down a bit. Shaking my head, I couldn’t help but smile, wondering how I was considering something so crazy like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Arabella being pregnant, us starting a family, and me becoming a father.
Before meeting Arabella, those were never things I wanted or cared about. I would even admit that they were things I’d have actively avoided as I’d gotten older. But now? Well, now that wasn’t the case, and I couldn’t wait to see Arabella round with my child. It didn’t matter if it was biologically my child—you couldn’t really pick that in this type of situation—because no matter what, they would be part of our family and loved unconditionally.
Something I never experienced growing up. As I waited for Damian, my thoughts traveled to all the times I’d wished for that, all the times I’d realized how messed up it was that I didn’t have someone to love me, to unconditionally support me.
“They’re not coming,”I said quietly as Damian offered me a frustrated look. He knew as well as I did that neither of our fathers were showing up, and I was fine with that…mostly. Alright, I was far from fine with it, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. That was just how my father was, and for sure how my step-mother was—distant and cold.
I think I would be far more shocked if they ever turned up to something at the Academy.
“It was a formal invitation by the school,” Damian pointed out. “They may want to save face.” It was a fairly realistic rationale, but I also knew my father had long given up giving a shit about his reputation. None of the legend terrors from the Greek sector actually cared.
“Do we really want them to show up?” I asked, putting my hands in my pockets. “What the hell would we even do if they walked through that door? I haven’t talked to my father in four years.”
Damian froze and turned to look back at me, sadness in his gaze. He deflated, running a hand through his hair. “Fuck. You’re right. I have no idea what I would even say.”
“Let’s go back to the dorm. Maybe we can catch a game, especially with it being family weekend,” I suggested, attempting to be positive and failing, no doubt.
“That’s true,” he agreed, looking moderately more positive.
I knew that wouldn’t last, though, and as we walked through the halls filled with visiting families, both of our moods dipped. I’d been here for family weekends before, but it hit different every time. It reminded me that I was being deprived of something so fundamental, and it was probably why I was so damn messed up.
The worst part? Outside of Damian, I knew I would never have a family.
If that younger version ofmyself could see where we were now…well, actually I don’t think he would believe it. Especially since we had a pink-haired angel in our arms. An angel, mind you, that probably needed to get up…
I had no idea how Damian and I had gotten off so easy. The others had been up all night finishing the house and preparing for our plans today, but the two of us? We’d gotten the pleasureof having a movie night to distract her and then fell asleep, keeping tabs with the others over text. I wouldn’t lie, I felt a bit bad that they were working so hard and I was just getting to stare at Arabella…
Never mind, I didn’t really fucking feel bad. I was excited to see how the house looked finished, though. Of course, we had been there every day through the process, but the furniture had all arrived yesterday so that we’d be able to move in today.
Arabella was going to be thrilled.
I could tell she needed more space, and I found her randomly wandering our dorm and adding more blankets and pillows to make it more ‘comfy.’ I think she wanted a home to make our own, and I fucking loved that. I wanted to see all of her stuff right next to mine, even if we had to build a custom closet because of her shoe collection. Her excitement over the idea had totally made it worth it.
Arabella’s bedroom door opened and Damian slipped back in, placing a hot pink coffee mug on her nightstand. Deciding I needed to do my part, I brushed my lips against her forehead and whispered her name.
Almost immediately, her eyes fluttered open. She was momentarily confused and dazed, before offering both of us—Damian having sat on the edge of the bed—a relaxed smile.
“Morning—oh no.”
Arabella was gone. I had never seen the woman move so fast.
Damian and I both stared, baffled at her speedy departure to the bathroom, her eyes filled with panic. I stood up, about to call out her name when I heard her vomit.
“Fuck.” Damian cursed as we both appeared behind her, immediately gathering back her hair as she leaned over the toilet, groaning. My friend offered me a concerned look, and I nodded towards a glass for water near the sink. I rubbedArabella’s back as she heaved again, nothing coming out this time.
“I hate throwing up,” Arabella groaned. “I must have eaten something bad last night.”
