Page 35 of Fractured Souls
Has she stayed out here with me? I looked around the rest of the room, confirming that everyone had gone to bed. I’d been so caught up in absorbing knowledge that I hadn’t been able to take advantage of my alone time with Lorcan. Something that was a damn shame because the only reason I’d been so hyper-focused was for her—all of this was for her.
Before her, when I’d first received my ‘assignment,’ I hadn’t cared nearly as much about the dark ones, my preferred state to remain separated from reality, wanting time to pass as quickly as possible.
I’d been through enough, lived a long enough life, that if they hoped to extinguish it…well, the idea of all of this finally ending didn’t seem like the worst thing in the world.
Now that this starlit woman was in my life, though? I hated the idea of the dark ones even knowing where the Earth realm was, let alone where Lorcan was.
I wanted them destroyed.
Closing the book, I slid down the couch and grabbed a blanket, draping it over her form. Not before my gaze trailed over her body, though, noticing that despite wearing a completely normal outfit—leggings and a large shirt that covered most of her—the woman looked really fucking good.
Then again, no matter what Lorcan wore, I found it fucking appealing. It was a huge issue for my concentration.
Trying to snap myself out of it, I tucked the blanket around her, ensuring she would be comfortable since the temperature in the kingdom was once again cooling. Her eyes flickered for a moment and I paused, worrying that I’d woken her up, but that only lasted a second before she sighed softly and murmured what almost sounded like my name before rolling over.
How badly I craved to carry her to a bed and lay next to her, as if it wasn’t a big deal—as if it wasn’t something I craved and had since meeting her.
Deciding to take a shower, I made sure the doors were shut with the exception of the balcony, and walked towards the connected suites. We would probably need to leave for the Kingdom of Day soon, and I didn’t trust myself to be alone with Lorcan right now—not with how worked up I felt. There was another reason why I had been so focused, and it completely had to do with being here.
In the Elven realm.
Not only did it inspire more memories than I could count, nearly all of them negative, but the power surge between Lorcan and Adriel during the ceremony and when they mated had left me feeling…off. Jealousy was really fucking good word for it.
She’d mated with the others, but in the Elven realm it felt different. It felt like it was my domain because I’d been here far longer than anyone alive within the realm.
But it wasn’t. In fact, as a siren I had even less claim to the realm now than other elven citizens. Still, I had mostly managed to temper that surge of frustration…untilthey made a damn star in the sky.
I couldn’t explain how irrationally angry that had made me. I shouldn’t have been. I had no right to be. She was happy, and Adriel clearly loved her. But I had no hold or mark on Lorcan. Nothing to show that we had a connection…which made sense because we didn’t have one. Not really. Sure, we had a purpose to accomplish together, but that wasn’t what my magic and I really wanted.
No, we wanted a bone deep connection. We wanted to mark her from the inside out. I nearly groaned, imagining all the ways I could do that.Fuck. I’d never felt such a strong, primal urge to claim someone, and now it had me spiraling as I tried to remain calm and levelheaded, trying to be as helpful as fucking possible.
I didn’t want to be just helpful though. I wanted to be someone Lorcan ran to. I wanted to be someone she trusted. But I couldn’t be that person. I had eons of darkness attached to me, and she was finally finding the light—she was finally experiencing freedom.
So I wouldn’t touch her, I wouldn’t kiss her again, no matter how much I fucking wanted to.
I would be here for her though.
I would be whatever she needed.
“Morning.”
I blinked, realizing Cash was walking towards me down the hall.
I offered a small head nod. “Lorcan is sleeping on the couch. I didn’t want to wake her up yet.”
“Sounds good. I think we’re going to leave soon,” Cash said, continuing past me and probably going to her side. I craved to turn back, to claim my spot on the couch next to her, but instead I went towards one of the guest suites, turning on the shower and forcing myself to not do exactly that.
Lorcan deserved better than me.
Taking a long shower, glad this was one modern amenity Adriel had introduced here, I heard the others getting up. I didn’t like the idea of going to the Kingdom of Day even if it was necessary, but if by chance Lorcan was a Darklace and had access to all of their documents and recorded history…well, that would change the game.
I had known of the family for as long as they’d been around, but I’d never met any of them outside of one of their family leaders nearly three thousand years ago. He was a lead commander and someone who, despite his stoic sense of duty, had been fairly easy to get along with. The same could not be said about the other fucking families, but that was all history now.
Hell,Iwas part of history now.
A knock on the door came as Rhett, I believe, shouted about needing to get ready as well. I muttered a curse, hating having roommates after being alone for so long…even if alone had been imprisoned. Then again, I didn’t mind having Lorcan as my roommate.
Nope, I didn’t mind that shit at all.
