Page 26 of Descend into Madness

He'd have done the same for me.

The raven hangs close but makes no move to attack. Unless its peaking at Dee’s back without my knowledge. His screams are continuous and at one point, I’ve resigned to becoming deaf.

It doesn’t matter anyway. These trials are continuous. What we don’t lose, break or suffer in one, the next will be sure to catch up. The nobility of this realm lost their plaything when Alice disappeared, and they soon found a new hobby. Placing bets on the suffering of those they captured, creating games we weren’t meant to survive. But Dee and I survived, and then came the arguments.

It was decided at a high council meeting, where Dee and I were chained by the neck and forced to watch, only one suit could own each of us. Claim us as their property. Declare us as their Champion to train up and force us to prove our worth. Royal boredom at its finest.

For some unknown reason, the Red Queen wanted me. Without reservation, she made her declaration quickly and loudly. I was to belong to the Hearts or die by them. Dee’s fate is yet to be decided, but if I’m strong enough, or if I’m just enough in general, maybe it won’t matter. The other suits will decide there’s no use pitching us against each other, and she’ll let him stay at red castle. It’s a frivolous idea, but currently, it’s all I have. A silly dream and my twin.

My legs grow shakier, Dee becoming heavier. At some point, my knees bent and I’m now crouched, navigating the maze on deadened feet. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t save him. Wetness touches my cheek and I violently wipe it away on my shoulder. There was a time tears didn’t exist. The notion of sadness, despair, and guilt – none of it existed. And best of all, no matter where we went on our endless journeys through Wonderland, the danger never occurred to us. We weren’t phased by death, only seeking the next joke and riding from one babbled laughter to the next. Now…I can’t even remember what laughing feels like.

Turning one last corner, I fall. My shins hit the ground; Dee’s arms locked around my neck taking me with him as we topple sideways. The rain falls harder, dousing us in misery as we lay, exhausted and in pain. Defeat eases into my limbs and once it’s settled, I don’t think I could move if I wanted to.

“Bravo!” The rain stops instantly, or rather a large umbrella has covered my face, acting like a shield. Blinking upwards, the Red Queen stands proud, her chest puffed out further than her baby bump. At her back, the center of the maze presents itself. I did it. I made it. “It’ll be a warm bath and hot dinner for you tonight,” the Queen beams down, an evil glint to her dark eyes. With each challenge I pass, I sense her interest in me growing. She’s preparing me for something and I’m not going to like it.

Dee groans, barely conscious now. I twist to see the umbrella doesn’t cover him, the rain soaking his hair into a dark shade of blonde. Scooping my brother into my arms, I hold him close.

“Save your bath and food, Dee needs medical attention.” My brother whimpers in my hold, his head on my chest. I squeeze tighter, a new sense of dread raising within. He’s too pale, flittering in and out of consciousness. I’m not wise but even I know his symptoms are concerning.

“You’d trade your prizes for him?” she sneers. I don’t understand where the belief came from that Dee’s life is any more or less valuable than mine. We’re the same person in spirit and mind. I peer up into the Queen’s eyes and nod without hesitation. She tuts and whips away the umbrella.

“Had you shown a hint of ruthlessness, I would have granted your wish. However, your feeble mind will cost you both.” She strides towards a swirling portal with a chamber of hearts on the other side, sparing me one last look. “You will learn. There isn’t room in this world for weakness.”

Disappearing into the portal, the image shifts to that of a dungeon. The only home I’ve known for two years, and as the portal begins to grow smaller, I force my legs to move. Dee lays limply, jostling in my bony arms. The more his head bounces around, the more worried I become.

Diving through the portal just as it’s about to close, I crash to a stone floor, never once loosing my hold. We may reside in our own corner of hell, but I refuse to stop fighting for my brother. The one who I’d thought could charm his way through life before his confidence broke. Before the nobility shattered it to pieces and for some strange reason, decided I was worth their attention.

“B-bitch,” Dee curses and I smile. A stupid boyish smile at hearing his brother curse for the first time.

“Total fucking bitch,” I nod in agreement. A laugh bubbles from his lips, his eyes still closed and body too still. I join, our chuckles drifting through the darkness as our bond warms with the love we share. It's clear no one wants Dee, but I sure do.

17

My lungs burn, my feet sore inside the high-top sneakers. Years of yoga in my own leisure time at Charmsfield has not prepared me for exercise like this. My poor, subtle feet protest with each step until I drop down beside a wall of leaves. Just like all the others closing in around me, just like the ones I’ve been staring at until night fell. I could be running in a square for all I know, no sign of the blasted Hare who dragged me in here.

Okay, maybe he didn’t force me into a maze I might not be able to escape, but he sure as shit didn’t hang around to say “hey, don’t come in here. You’re not built for hours without food and no one to annoy.”

Removing the file stuffed into the front of my cargos, I slump back. What the hell have you been up to Hatter? A firefly flitters past and I gasp, whipping my hand out to catch it. Bopping him on the nose, a steam of light blares from his ass like a torch. Opening the file, Stan reappears, sniffling at the shell of my ear. I hold the file away from him since he seems intent on destroying any evidence I have, but it’s not the papers that hold his attention this time. It’s the fly in my hand. Trying to read through the Hatter’s notes, Stan shoots out of the confines of my hair.

“Piss off Stan! I’m trying to read here!” I jerk the firefly away from his tiny jaws. Landing on my thigh, the sugar glider I’ve befriended digs his claws into my leg, launching himself at my hand again. I twist the fly’s light towards his face, hoping to blind his retinas but it’s useless. Stan nearly takes my finger off whilst ripping the fly from my grip and gobbles it down. Plunged back into darkness, I throw the file into the air.

“What’s the fucking point anymore?!” I scream and then slap two hands over my mouth. Oh god no. That question was far too logical. My stomach growls, cutting through my thoughts. That’s it – I’m just hungry. Stan’s stomach glows with the fly safely inside, faintly shining a path to nothingness. There are exactly zero options of dinner down either side of the endless alleyways. Taking the scrunched newspapers from my pocket, I stack them together.

“It’s a cheeseburger. Just a scrummy cheeseburger dripping in burger and cheese,” I tell myself. Squeezing my eyes shut and stretching my mouth wide, the newspaper stack graces my tongue and…fucking hell. It’s actually a cheeseburger.

Grabbing Stan, I run his glowing belly over the wad in my hand, squinting through the fading glow. Sesame seeds splatter a golden bun, onions and lettuce poking out the sides of a greasy, cheese topped burger. Not questioning it, I stuff the whole lot in my mouth before it turns back to paper. Groaning, I swallow hard and a moment later, a hiccup of indigestion bubbles from me. Pushing a palm into the center of my chest, I whistle for Stan to resume his position behind my ear – I need to hunt down a cup of tea if it kills me.

Two mirrored halfmoons hang above the maze’s leafy walls, orange in color. The prophecy about twin blood moon’s trickles back into my scope of memory lane. All nonsense and poppycock, I presume. Nothing in Wonderlust has presented any danger to me before, I doubt it’ll start now.

“How about a song Stan?” I ask my accomplice; certain I need his tiny nod. Hiccupping again as the heart burn twists in my chest, I clear my throat.

There once was a man called Michael Finnegan,

Who likes to stroke his sister’s shinnegan

He went to jail and she snuck in again,

Naughty, incestual Finnegans, let’s sing again!

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