Page 28 of Worth the Risk

It’s been five days since I fled Leo’s house. I hoped I’d hear from him, but I haven’t.

When I woke Sunday morning and he was gone, I felt like such a fool. Was I to wait for him? I didn’t want to seem like a clinger after our first night. I threw away any reservations I had and gave myself to him.Hell, I threw myself at him.

I was also scared about how strong this attraction was to him and the intensity of my desire for him. I was falling too fast and becoming obsessed with every word and caress. Maybe it was for the best that I left before I allowed my heart to become too invested in him and have him crush me like James did.

I jumped out of his bed, got dressed, and went to wake up Sierra after doing a quick scan of the house to be sure that Leo was, in fact, not there. Once in the room, I ordered an Uber. As Sierra and I were getting dressed, she asked me if I wanted to talk about it. I told her no. I was too embarrassed and felt cheap.

I wanted what we shared to mean something to Leo because it meant a lot to me. Casual hookups are clearly not my thing. Just then, Beth’s voice was in my head, and I heard her say I’m not satisfying, so I thought I was merely imagining Leo’s satisfaction like I did with James.

Giving Leo the benefit of the doubt, I went into the kitchen one last time. I found a pen and some paper in a drawer and scribbled my name and number on the paper, folded it in half, wrote his name on top, and laid it on the counter.

After that, our Uber arrived. When Sierra and I got in, I realized I didn’t say goodbye to Sophie. She didn’t deserve to be left without a goodbye, so I texted her.

I wasn’t sure what she would make of me asking to meet elsewhere, but I knew I couldn’t face him. He’s gorgeous and can have any girl he wants.Why would he want me?I’m sure I can’t measure up to the girls who run to his side with a snap of his fingers.

After the driver dropped Sierra off, I got into my car and drove home, all the while wondering if I made a big mistake by leaving. Lying on my bed for hours, I was once again thinking about the night and morning.

Doing it again now, I’m overthinking and overanalyzing.Maybe I shouldn’t have left so quickly? Maybe he had a reason not to be there?If that’s the case, he will call me. Because there’s a chance I jumped the gun, and he still wanted me there.

Feeling hopeful, I shower and get on with my day.

That optimism fades throughout the week, though.

It’s already Friday, and after working at Mom’s agency this morning, I helped Manda make supper.

While we’re eating dinner, Mom asks, “Any plans for the weekend?”

“No. I’ll spend it with you two. My favorite people in the world.” I keep my voice cheerful. I’ve been putting on a happy face all week so they won’t worry about me and ask too many questions.

“Okay. That’s it. Spill,” Manda demands, hands on her hips.

I guess I haven’t been doing too good of a job of hiding how low I feel.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

“Please, spare me the time and tell me why you’ve been moping around all week,” Manda states in her no-nonsense tone.

Ugh.I’ll give them just enough to quench their thirst.

“You remember that guy I said I met at Luke’s party?” When they both nod, I add, “He’s Sophie’s brother. He and his friend came out to Hanover House with us on Saturday. I thought we were connecting, but now I’m not so sure we did. I mean, I like him, and I thought he liked me, but I’m thinking he may like a lot of girls and that maybe I thought it was something it wasn’t. I’m sure I just read his attraction wrong now.”

“If he can’t see how special you are, then he’s not your one. I’ve told you this many times. Your one is out there waiting for you. Trust me… I know these things. I may be old, but I’m also wise.” Manda taps the side of her head with her finger.

Maybe I’ll be lucky someday and find mine. A girl can only hope.

“I’m sad and mopey like I’m going through a breakup, and we weren’t even dating,” I admit.

“Oh, sweetie. Men are complicated creatures, and I’m sure they think the same of us. It’s hard getting to know someone and trusting their intentions, so give it time. What’s meant to be will be,” Mom says.

I smile at these lovely wise women in thanks, clean up supper, and head to my room. I’m just about to doze off when my door opens, and Sierra enters.

As she plops herself beside me with a sigh, I sit up.

“What’s up?” I ask.

“I broke up with David today over the phone. Does that make me an awful person not to do it face to face?”

“I’m the last person to ask for relationship advice. I’ve dated one guy seriously and stayed with him even after rumors of cheating. Trust me, I suck at relationships.” I laugh. “But can I ask why?”

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