Page 21 of Hot Doctor & Secret Baby

"Where are we going?" I ask breathlessly as I chase her down the sidewalk.

"You want me to validate my projection, but I'll do you one better. I canshow youexactly what I'm talking about."

10

Vanessa

Since Joshua seems to doubt the legitimacy of my findings, I decide to take him to my old lab where I had a few things left to pick up anyway. I give him a quick tour of the facility so he can see how underfunded it is. If I can accomplish everything I have in such limiting conditions with so little support, surely he can see what I'll do with Bardot's resources.

While we're there, Noah and my other old co-workers are excited to see me off and officially congratulate me on the new job. I take quiet satisfaction in how they sing my praises in front of Joshua. Between their glowing endorsements and the research I'm able to gather up to share with him, surely I've put him in his place enough to earn a little trust and respect.

When we get back to the lab, we take a closer look at all of my research notes. I explain the improvements we can make and the path we'll take towards human trials. Joshua is stoic as ever as I go over everything. When I finish, the room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. He just sits there, staring off and rubbing his finger across his slightly stubbled chin.

"Well…," I breathe. "Please say something. Are you seeing something I'm not or am I right about this?"

His rich brown eyes meet mine. I resist the nagging memory knocking at my heart's door - the one that's trying to remind me how I used to melt under this very same gaze. How sometimes when he'd stare at me like that, he'd close the space between us and pull me into his strong, warm arms. How his lips would press to mine and we'd lose ourselves in each other's bodies.

Those days are long gone, and I know better than to ever fall for his charms or good looks again. I tell myself all I care about now is my work, and since he's my only team member so far…I have to care about what he thinks.

This is purely professional. End of story.

"This is really amazing stuff, Lopez," he says finally. His tone is tender and almost pained, drenched with regret as they should be.

I don't know if the regret is over how he messed things up and lost me, or if it's over how he's treated me since our paths crossed again. I can't allow myself to care either way. He can feel as sorry as he wants to. It has nothing to do with me or what we're trying to accomplish here.

"Thank you," I smile, swallowing hard. "So, did that answer all of your questions?"

"Mmm-hmm," he grunts, nodding slowly. I hate those deep vibrations seeping from his lips. They used to seep straight into me and make me putty in his hands.

He stands up and steps closer.Too close.It's too much like how it used to be, and suddenly I feel like I'm twenty-five years old again - hanging around his apartment in his boxer shorts and old sweatshirt. A vivid flood of memories crash over me with every vanishing inch between us.

I remember cooking omelets in his kitchen, feeling his big hands spread across my body and his chest pressing against my back. I sank backwards into him and relished in the feeling of his scruffy jawline brushing across my neck. I turned my head, my lips searching so desperately for his.

I remember crying in my bed alone at night, wishing the world didn't feel so heavy and scary…wishing that he respected me enough to be loyal. I would turn my head in the dark and search for his lips, only night after night they were nowhere to be found.

"What are you doing?" I rasp, my eyes intensely focused on his. I can't look away, no matter how hard I try.

He pauses until slowly a smile spreads across his lips. "Sorry, I uh…" He dips his head and runs a hand through his hair. "I seemed to have lost my place there for a second."

Talk about understatement of the century! His place is on the other side of the room, far away from me. Still, he doesn't back up. I realize I'm holding my breath, but I can't seem to let it go. Not until he moves back to a safe distance.

"You know, Vanessa…"

"Please. Whatever you're about to say… Don't."

"I have to," he says firmly.

"Joshua–"

"Vanessa. I'm sorry for how I treated you back in the day. I was an idiot. I just…I needed you to know that much."

"Okay," I whisper with a shrug, trying not to cry.

I never wanted to hear those words from him. It's why I never called or officially broke up with him. Because I knew they'd feel as empty and shallow as they do now. Sorry doesn't fix any of this. It doesn't fix how abandoned I felt when I needed him the most.

"Truthfully, the only reason I had any hesitations about you working here is because I was afraid of this," he adds, pointing between us. "I knew it'd be hard for me to be around you, and not think about…" His eyes trail down my body as he bites his lip.

"Yeah, well I guess I had the same fear," I huff. "Only the things I have a hard time not thinking about aren't exactly the same as yours."

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