Page 32 of Nanny for the Rockstars

It seems impossible for me to be around these three guys and not fall for them again. The only reason I developed the hatred for them was the way they treated me our last year of school. But they’re different now. They’re being so sweet to me with little things here and there.

I didn’t ask anyone to bring me a soda from the store, and yet they did. It’s nothing much, I know. It’s a soda. But them bringing me one, it makes me feel cared for.

“Hey, stranger.”

A voice cuts into my thoughts, so I look up.

Julian is walking over to me with a grin on his face. “What are you doing over here?”

“Nothing,” I say. “I thought I would let you guys have the chance to bond with Hendrix while we’re out here and you don’t have anything else to take up your attention.”

“You’re out here too,” he tells me. “You don’t have to be over here on your own.”

“I know,” I say. “But I just don’t want to intrude. I mean, I know I’m hired to be the nanny, but you guys are his dads, and you really should bond with him as more than just the people who are around him like I am, you know? I might be the nanny, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to think of me as his family.”

“I’m sure he will,” Julian says. “If you’re around long enough, I’m sure he’s going to grow up thinking that you’re one of the more important people in his life. After all, you are taking on the role of being a mom to him, even if you’re getting paid to do it.”

“Oh, I don’t know if I would go that far,” I reply modestly. “It’s not like he’s going to call me Mom or anything.”

“Does that matter?” Julian asks. “I mean, do you care one way or the other if he does or doesn’t?”

“I guess not,” I say with a shrug. “I just, I don’t know. I just want you all to be happy with how things are going. With the tour, with Hendrix, with me. It’s kind of weird to be around you all again after everything, I guess I’m still trying to wrap my mind around all of it.”

“I’m sure it’s going to take time, if you ever can.” He smirks. “It’s tough to be around this level of greatness and not be awestruck,” Julian tells me with a wink.

I smirk back at him. “Not quite what I meant, but sure. If that’s what you want to call it, that’s fine.”

“What the hell are you two doing over there?” Caleb shouts to us. “You going to come over and hang out with us or what?”

“Told you we wanted you to come hang out with us,” Julian says.

“Alright, alright, if you insist.” I get up from the bench and walk with him back to where Terry and Caleb are with Hendrix, and Julian takes his turn with the stroller.

The teasing and conversation is so easygoing, it’s as though we’ve remained friends all these years. But I still have to check myself. Every time I think about letting the past go and moving on with my feelings, I remember the way they made me feel my entire senior year.

I don’t know if I can really let it go. I don’t know if I can trust these guys with my heart again.

But I also don’t know if I can stop myself.

SIXTEEN

JULIAN

“Shut it off! Fuck!”

Caleb throws his pillow over the top of my bed and it lands on Terry, who grumbles to himself and turns off the blaring alarm, though I don’t get the impression he’s awake yet.

“Do we really have to fucking get up at the ass crack of dawn today?” I moan. “It’s not like we’re going to be late for the show tonight if we sleep another couple hours.”

The knocking on the hotel room door tells us that’s not going to happen, and Caleb swears once more.

“I’ve barely gotten to fucking sleep and the alarm’s going off already? Shit!” he’s saying.

The knock at the door repeats itself, and I get up, grab some shorts to pull on, then head over to see what Jeanette wants. I yank open the door, but instead of Jeanette, it’s Mags standing outside.

“Oh,” I say. “Hi.”

“I thought you guys were going to be up and ready to go by six, not still in bed,” she says. “Why aren’t you ready?”

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