Page 54 of Nanny for the Rockstars

More satisfying than I can say.

And I go back to my search for a new nanny.

TWENTY-SIX

JEANETTE

“Sh, it’s okay little one. I’ll pick you up in just a minute,” I say over my shoulder.

Hendrix is lying in his crib, kicking and gurgling. He’s running out of patience, I can see that, but I’m trying to get through putting his things back in his suitcase so it’s easier for me to get through it and not have to spend much time around the triplets.

It doesn’t seem as though there’s any hope for reconciliation between us.

It’s been three days since I hooked up with Caleb, and since then, the arguments have only gotten increasingly worse. I call Colleen. I know she already warned me about what I was doing with these guys anyway, so she’s probably not going to be very surprised when she hears it hasn’t gone well, but I have to talk to someone.

“Hello?” she says. “It’s been a while! How have you been? I thought you ran off with those rockstars and got a whole new life and forgot about me.”

“Never,” I tell her. “And it was going well, but then something happened, and one thing led to another, and now we’re to the point where I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m about ready to pack my things and buy a ticket for home.”

“Oh no, what happened?” Colleen asks. “I knew this was too good to be true.”

“I didn’t want to admit it myself, but I guess I would have been smarter to think about it that way too,” I admit. “But with how they were treating me at first, I was sure that things were different this time. I guess when you’re dealing with rockstars, though, some things aren’t ever going to change.”

“What happened?” she asks again.

I give her the whole story, from how Clarissa showed up at the dressing room that night, to how she showed up again when they were at a different show. I tell her about the penthouse, then how I walked in on Caleb making out with her.

“What did you do?” Colleen asks.

“I freaked out,” I say. “After everything they had said to me, I couldn’t just walk in on that and not freak out about it. I mean, they said I was theirs. They wrote that damn song about it. They made me feel like I was going to be theirs forever. The things we talked about, the way they made me feel. I don’t know. I sound so stupid now, I know, but I really did think they meant it when they said that they wanted me back.”

“I would have been pissed,” she sympathizes. “I hope you kicked her out and told them just what you think about the whole thing.”

“Sort of,” I say. “But it’s not that simple. There were some articles posted in a tabloid the same day this all went down, and now they think I’m the one who leaked information about them. They’re so pissed off at me, and it sucks they don’t believe me. I don’t know what to do.”

“Damn,” she says. “And you can’t prove to them that it wasn’t you?”

“No more than they can prove to me that there’s nothing going on with Clarissa,” I say with a sigh. “It’s like we have to trust each other, but there’s no trust between us, and that’s what makes this so hard. We can’t work through shit, because we’re all so stubborn and so convinced our way is the right way.”

“You said you weren’t going to let them treat you like this anymore,” she reminds me.

“I know.” I sigh again. “And that’s why I think it’s time for me to come home. They keep saying they’re going to find another nanny, but I think they’re dragging their feet on that one. Not to mention the fact that the more time goes by, the more I think they’re just holding that over my head as a threat rather than a real thing.”

“If you leave, then they have no choice, and if you’re the one who leaves, then you don’t have to feel like you were replaced, you know? You get to just walk away and not look back, which at this point I think is the healthiest thing you can do anyway,” Colleen tells me. “You don’t deserve this.”

“I just feel bad for Hendrix,” I say. “He’s already been abandoned by one parent, I feel like he’s starting to see me as his mom, and now I’m going to leave too. Do you have any idea how many issues this kid is going to have if this is his life?”

“But that’s not your job,” Colleen says. “It is your job to take care of you. You deserve to have a good life, and you have to make the right choice for you rather than deal with the shit they put you through all the time. They aren’t going to change, and you don’t have to be the one who has to deal with their issues.”

“You’re right,” I admit. “Alright. I’m not putting up with this, and with how much we argue, I think we all know it’s time for me to go. Maybe I’ll be coming out to see you before I go home. It’s not like I have anything else to do with my time.”

“I would like that,” she says. “You can hang out with me for a while, get back on your feet, and move on with your life like the badass I know you are.”

“I’ll keep you in the loop,” I promise.

“What’s this?” a voice breaks into the conversation, and I turn.

Clarissa is standing in the doorway of the bus, and she’s glaring at me. “You’re supposed to be watching the baby, and you’re on the phone with your back turned to him? How the fuck do you consider that watching the child? He could do an awful lot in the time it takes you to finish with your little phone bitching.”

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