Page 6 of Nanny for the Rockstars

“Fuck it,” I mutter to myself as I select the job. It’s taking care of a little boy. How hard can that be? I don’t care if I have to tell one or two little white lies in order to get this position. It’s money, and it’s easy money if all I have to do with my day is take care of a baby.

I fill out the application and hit send, crossing my fingers that I’ll get a response soon.

After applying for that position, I turn my attention to other postings.

I apply to a couple more, but with each one my enthusiasm fades a little bit more.

Then, an hour later, my cup of coffee cold on the table next to me, I get an email back about the nanny job. I have an interview.

Tomorrow.

THREE

CALEB

“Nope, hard pass, hell no, fuck no, I don’t know if you’re catching a theme here, but the answer is fucking no!” I shove myself back from the table and turn slightly to look at both my brothers. “Are you two out of your goddamn minds? What makes you think we’re going to leave Hendrix with any of these airheads?”

“You don’t exactly have to be smart to be a nanny. You just have to know how to take care of a kid,” Julian says with a shrug. “I don’t really care if she’s dumb as a box of rocks. As long as she doesn’t rub the dumb off on Hendrix, we’ll be golden.”

“I don’t think Hendrix could be dumb if he tried,” Terry says as he looks into the carrier where Hendrix stares at the three of us. “He’s half us, so he’s bound to be smart as shit.”

“It would be nice, but if we hand him off to one of these bimbos I’m not sure he’s smart enough to withstand the stupid,” I reply. “Why the fuck are we even trying to get a nanny anyway? This is a fucking waste of time. We had the kid, we might as well just face the music and raise him.”

“First of all, if we do that, we can kiss our career goodbye,” Julian says. “Secondly, we did nothing. That girl, whoever she was, is the one who had the kid, decided she made a fucked-up decision, then dropped him in our laps. I don’t know if that counts as us choosing to have him.”

“We fucked whoever she was,” I shoot back. “So whichever of us pumped it into her chose to have him at that moment.”

“Pretty sure I’ve fucked a lot of bitches without having the thought of having a kid with them,” Terry says with a shrug.

I glare at both of them. As the oldest, there are times I feel like these two really do act like my younger brothers. But, considering there were only three minutes between me and Terry, with Julian in the middle, it’s tough for me to give them that pass.

“My point is, this kid is our responsibility now. Think of it like, we made our bed, now we have to lie in it,” I tell them.

“I don’t get what your deal is,” Julian says. “You were fine with getting a nanny yesterday, and now you’re throwing a bitch fit about it. It’s not like any of us are thrilled with the idea, but I think we’re all doing a great job of stepping up to the plate and making this happen.”

“I’m tired of interviewing idiots! That’s my deal!” I snap. “You can’t tell me after dealing with this shit all day yesterday, you’re any happier to be sitting here this morning with it going the same way. We’ve got to get back on the road if we’re going to make the show in New York, and we’re no closer to finding a nanny now than we were when we put up the job posting.”

“He’s got a point,” Terry says. “I didn’t know it would take this long to find someone. I pretty much figured some chick would walk in and boom, that would be that.”

“If this kid’s our responsibility, I want to make sure the nanny is at least competent. Can you imagine dealing with the kind of chick who’s bound to forget the kid somewhere?” Julian laughs, and I glare at him once more.

“I’m about ready to call this whole thing off,” I inform them. “I’m not in the mood to deal with this all day, and I don’t know how much patience I have left to handle another girl who walks in here clearly without a clue. Like, I know nothing about kids, and I feel like I would do a better job with Hendrix than any of the girls we’ve talked to so far.”

“Why don’t we tear up a letter or something and toss it into the fire? You know, summon Mary Poppins or something?” Terry jokes.

“Practically perfect in every way,” Julian joins in. “Imagine if we had some perfect nanny raise Hendrix. He’d turn into the most badass baby in the world. Pretty much one of those prodigy kids who just manages to do everything right, you know?”

I shake my head. I’m not sure I have the patience to deal with their jokes about this situation, either. I certainly love making fun of things, and there are few things in my world that are considered off-limits—if anything, actually—but the fact that we don’t have a nanny yet is driving me insane.

I might not have planned on having this kid, but the fact that this boy is our son makes me feel like I really owe it to him to take care of him, even if that means that I have to find someone to care for him while I work. But I have to find someone who’s competent. The problem so far has been that the women coming through don’t seem to even know what a child is, let alone how to care for a baby.

I’m no parent myself, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know the basics, or what I want in a nanny who I’m going to leave totally in charge of my kid when I’m not there to watch him myself.

“We’ve got a girl named Stella coming in next. About five minutes,” Julian reads off the clipboard. “Maybe she’s going to be the one we’re waiting for and make this entire interview shit show worth it.”

“I doubt it,” I say as I pull myself closer to the table once more.

I know I have the bad attitude of the bunch. If there were specific attitudes that could be assigned to me and my brothers, I would be the moody one for sure. And I’m okay with that. It goes with the lifestyle I’ve chosen, and I feel it keeps my brothers in line enough that they don’t wind up going off on some wild idea that’s asinine enough to put us on the news.

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