Page 74 of Take Me Home

I looked at him one last time, thinking of all the times in the prior year I’d looked at him and felt nothing. I still felt nothing. I mourned for the version of me that once did love him, and all the mistakes she made. But I could also see this new, more weathered version of myself that could walk away. I liked her.

“Don’t worry about me. Take care of yourself.”

23

JAKE

Isat up all night.

I promised I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her, and I keep my promises.

I turned off the trailer’s air conditioning and opened all the windows. I wanted to be able to hear if Darcy yelled out for help. Even though I wasn’t thrilled with her at the moment, I still couldn’t stand the thought of that idiot hurting her. I wasn’t one to throw hands, but if he laid a finger on her, it would be his funeral.

That’s dramatic. I’d probably just give him a bloody nose.

Was I upset that Darcy had been engaged before? On a basic caveman level, sure. No one wants to think of the ones who had their girl first. But on a human level, of course she’d been involved deeply with someone else in the past. She’s a fucking catch. Someone tried to catch her. They didn’t succeed. It was my turn to try.

Was I upset that she sent me away? Yeah. I was pissed. She was pretty shitty about it when I was just trying to help. But after I took some time to calm down, I didn’t blame her. She was not okay. I could tell how badly she wanted to run from the situation, and how she felt trapped because she couldn’t. I could have swept her away, taken her out of the scene, but she’s a grown-up. She can call her own shots. I just didn’t like how she did it.

Was I upset she didn’t answer whether there was anything else big I should know about? Kind of, but again, Darcy was in a full downward spiral at that point. I couldn’t blame her for not wanting to talk right then when her ex showed up unannounced.

I also trusted her when she said it was over between the two of them. Did my deliriously tired mind get the better of me a few times in the night, imagining them going at it in her bed? Sure. But my rational mind talked me down off that ledge.

So I waited up. I listened until I felt like I was hallucinating sounds. I did go out at one point because I thought I heard something. When I was within sight of the house, I saw Rob sleeping on the porch swing. She’d made him sleep outside. I was proud of her for that one because it’s pretty ice cold. I’d be happy for my sisters if they did that to their exes.

Still, I worried and decided I wouldn’t sleep until I saw her come feed the dogs.

When Darcy’s feet crunched the gravel at first light, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. She looked like she’d been in battle. Her face was puffy, her clothes wrinkled, and her hair borderline matted. I debated whether I should go out and talk to her, my sleep-deprived brain unsure. I chose to go out, meeting her after she’d put out the dogs’ food. It was likely not the smartest choice, because I was pretty emotional.

“Jake,” she said, surprised.

“Hemade you feel less, didn’t he? It was him. The one who broke you down,” I said, coming out guns blazing. Not my finest showing, but again, no sleep.

“Not just him,” she said quietly. “But yeah.”

I shook my head. “I couldn’t figure it out. You have a lifelong best friend. A family who loves you so much. But someone’s broken you. And it was him.”

“I don’t know what to say. You said you wanted me like I am, but this is the messy part. I warned you. I told you that you didn’t want this,” she argued, voice getting impassioned.

“Darcy, that’s not what I’m trying to say. I tried to help you last night and you pushed me away,” I started, getting flustered.

“I had to handle that myself,” she said, crossing her arms. “It’s not your job to fight all my battles for me.”

“I know that, baby, I just, ugh!”

She looked at me, her hands open to me by her sides then. I took a deep breath and pressed my fingers to my temples.

“I know what I want. It’s you. I’m falling for you. But I need you to decide if you’re going to let me love you. And if you are, I need you to understand that I’m fighting for the same team as you. I need you to let me see the ugly stuff.”

“You didn’t see enough last night?” she asked sarcastically, throwing her arms wide. “Thought that was a show enough.”

I closed my eyes, putting my fist to my forehead and groaning. “That’s not it, either. We’re all fucked up, Darcy. Every single human is flawed. I’m going to love you, but I can’t keep doing this if you won’t see that you’re lovable. You have to let me in.”

Darcy stood, breathing heavily, brow furrowed. “Jake, I can’t fix myself overnight. That’s not realistic.”

“I know that. I’m not saying this right. I just,” I growled at myself. “Forget it. I need some sleep.”

I turned back to my trailer, Darcy calling my name after me. She could be the one to watch me walk away for once. Since I knew she was physically safe, I closed all the trailer windows, flipped on the A/C, gobbled three bowls of cereal in rapid succession, and passed out.

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