Page 48 of Voyeur
“She’s an adult,” Reed said once he’d recovered enough. “And even hearing you say she’s a child, I know you don’t believe it.” He stared at me with knowing eyes. “I haven’t seen you this riled up about a woman in a long time. It’s good to see, man. Even if there is the issue of her being your student. She won’t be forever.”2Another pause. “Tell me about her.”
I finished my bottle of beer, wondering if it was a good idea to talk to my friend about my student, whom I liked and had already been sexual with.
Fuck it.
“Oaklyn is. . .” Closing my eyes, I pictured her laughing on the other side of my desk. Of her smiling and calling me Clark Kent. “She’s smart. Determined. Beautiful. She’s kind and good, the way she looks when she laughs.” Nothing could stop the smile stretching across my lips. She did that. Just the thought of her.
“She sounds hot.” Reed broke the moment, and I gave him an irritated side-eye. He only bobbed his eyebrows and took another pull of beer.
“You’re a pig. Karen deserves better.”
“You’re damn right I do,” Karen said from the doorway. My heart thudded hard, and I wondered how much she overheard. If she heard anything, she didn’t let on. “But I love him anyway,” she said, walking over to perch on the arm of the couch. She leaned down to kiss Reed. “Aubrey left and it’s late, so I’m heading to bed.”
“Okay. You feeling okay?” Reed asked Karen and a look passed between them.
“I’m fine, babe.”
“Should we tell him?”
“Tell me what?” I asked, trying to keep up with the conversation.
“I’m sure you’re dying to gossip with your boyfriend.”
“I really am,” Reed agreed before turning to me. “Well, friend. It’s happened. Hell has frozen over, and fate has decided I’m fit to be a father. We’re pregnant.”
The first feeling hit me in the chest like a sledgehammer. All the more intense because I wasn’t expecting it. I should have been happy and elated for my friend. Instead, my heart closed in on itself with jealousy.
My mouth moved somehow, trying to force something out. “Congratulations, you guys,” I finally managed. “That’s amazing. Karen, if he ever gets out of line, I’ll whip him into shape. I’m serious. Ice cream any time of the night. If he doesn’t deliver, I’ll make sure he pays.”
She laughed as I’d intended. “Thanks, Callum.” She was too entranced with her husband, the father of her future child, to see the pain I was sure marred my face.
“All right. I’m off to bed,” Karen said pulling me out of my revelry. “You two girls don’t stay up too late gabbing.”
“Okay, honey. I’ll kick him out soon,” Reed agreed, winking my way to let me know he was joking.
“Good. You know I hate sleeping alone.” She leaned down with a smile before gently kissing him, his hand on her still-flat stomach. I felt more like a voyeur now than I ever had at the club.
I wanted what was in front of me. I wanted a wife. A family. A woman to carry my child. My chest ached with a strong desire for those things; my limbs were heavy from wanting to reach out and take them for my own. I just didn’t know how to get to them, waiting on the other side of the dark cloud holding me back. But I wanted them. And when I looked closely and imagined what I wanted, the faceless woman who set me at ease in my future began to take shape.
And all I could see was Oaklyn smiling up at me.
The image knocked the wind out of me. As Reed stared after his wife, I took a moment to collect myself. What the hell was I doing? Oaklyn was avoiding me, and I couldn’t stop imagining her in my future.
What was I doing?
I wanted to pull out my hair, distract myself from the flood of emotions she brought out in me. Pleasure, desire, want, happiness, panic, stress, hope. All of them at war within me. And the more they fought each other, the less control I felt.
I’d just finished my third deep breath as Reed turned back around. We didn’t talk much the rest of the night, just finished watching the game. Him with a contented smile on his face, and me staring blankly at the screen trying to come up with a plan to screw a tight lid back on my emotions.
By the time I pulled into my driveway, I knew what I had to do. I didn’t want to, but indifference was a safe emotion.
At least it had to be better than everything Oaklyn sparked inside of me.
chapternineteen
Oaklyn
Slamming another drawer closed,I looked toward Dr. Pierce’s office, hoping he had heard, and it annoyed him. I refused to think of him as Callum. He’d made it clear this week that he was officially Dr. Pierce.1
