Page 36 of Carter

I turn around, and the look on his face is pure shock. He swallows hard as he opens his mouth to talk, but closes it immediately.

Chapter thirty-one

Leandra

Ash embraces me and whispers encouraging words. He rubs my back letting me know everything will be okay. As I cry once again, stupid hormones have me getting all emotional, he reaches for a tissue. “Shh, Leandra. Everything’s going to be okay. You have many people that love you and will be here for you.” He says, pulling away as he wipes my tears from my stained cheeks. I look up and he’s all smiles. “Why are you smiling?” I say as I giggle a little.

“Because a child is a blessing and you, my friend, will be an excellent mother to that little boy or girl.” He says, smiling even bigger. I look at him and I can’t help but smile back. Ash is right, a child is a blessing and I always wanted to be a mom. He’s right. I have a lot of people who love me and will be in my corner. A few moments pass between us and I see his smile drop as he realizes who the father is after all. I know what he’s about to ask without even asking. So, I nod, confirming his answer.

“I will tell him once I get the blood results back. Which hopefully will be tomorrow at the latest.” He nods and I know that regardless of whether I decided to keep it a secret, he would always support my decision, no questions asked. As we say our good nights, I call my parents, letting them know I will be home either Friday or Saturday, depending on if I can leave a day earlier than expected.

As I end the call and look up at the ceiling, I can’t help but think how things could have been so different if only he had kept his promise and chosen me over her. I place my hand on my stomach, rubbing gently. I fall into a deep slumber, hoping tomorrow goes well when I go to share the news.

Waking up, I feel refreshed as I slept almost twelve hours, knowing my body needed the rest. I shower and brush my teeth. It’s ten o’clock, and Ash has already left for the office. My phone rings as I walk into the kitchen to get some water. I look at the caller id and see it's Dr. Amber calling. “Hello,” I say nervously.

“Good Morning Leandra. This is Dr. Amber calling with the blood work results from yesterday afternoon.” She pauses a few moments. “The bloodwork confirmed that you are indeed pregnant. Your HCG level is a little high, making me believe you are almost done with your first trimester.”

“Wait, I’m sorry I’m not understanding.” I’m confused.

“HCG levels tend to be highest towards the end of the first trimester, then gradually decline over the rest of your pregnancy. Currently, your levels are around the tenth-week mark. Meaning you are about ten weeks pregnant.” The blood drains from my face as soon as those words come out of her mouth. Holy Shit. I’m ten weeks along, meaning my negative tests were false negatives. I conceived the first time we had unprotected sex, which is also the only time I was ovulating when we had unprotected sex.

She continues to talk, but I zone her out as my thoughts go back to that night we conceived. “Leandra. Hello Leandra. Can you hear me? Are you still there?” She says, bringing me back. I clear my throat. “Yes, sorry, I will schedule an appointment with my OB-GYN when I return to the States. Thank you, Dr. Amber.” Before we hung up, she told me the results were ready if I wanted to pick up the hard copy, which I immediately did.

Having the results in my hand, I open the envelope to read what Dr. Amber had told me this morning. I cry, knowing that things could have been different. I know we were both disappointed that those tests came out negative. Now I know that what I had thought was my period was implantation bleeding. I put the results back into the envelope. I take a deep breath in and out. Wiping the tears away, I start my drive to the pack house.

What’s inside that envelope will change Carter’s life.

Making my way up the dirt road, my eyes scan the surrounding area and I notice on the other side of the property, where the dock is, Carter and Sienna. I swallow hard and try to control my breathing. Getting out of the car, I make my way towards the dock, but once I get closer, I stop as I witness my heart shatter once more, but this time there was no going back. At this very moment, I realize Carter kills something inside of me.

I see them both kissing and when I can finally see his face, I see his smile and the way his eyes shine. He's happy and even though it breaks my heart, I can’t be the one to get in between his happiness. I return to my car with the envelope in hand and say goodbye one last time, placing my hand on my flat stomach.

I apologize to my unborn child for not telling their father about them.

“I’m sorry little one. I can’t get in between his mate bond. You didn’t see how his eyes shined and how he smiled at her.” I can’t be selfish. Plus, he made his choice. I just witnessed them kiss. And from where I’m standing, his eyes portray happiness and love. Getting back into the SUV, I practice my breathing because I'm in no condition to drive. The drive back to the city is silent as I try to focus on the road and think positively so that tears don’t threaten my eyes again.

“Hey, Lea. What’s up?”

Pulling on the side of the road, I give up, letting the tears take over. I’m trying to get words out, but I can’t. I’m hurting not only for me but for my child who never got the opportunity to get to know their daddy. “Ash, are you in the office?” I say, and I can hear him close the door to his office. “Yes. Lea, tell me what’s wrong. Is it the baby?” He says, all concerned. “No, the baby is fine.” I pause, trying to breathe and stop my tears. “I need to talk to you in private.”

“Lea. Sweetheart, you need to calm down and think about the baby. Come to the office. I will send everybody home and it will be just us two. Okay?”

“Okay. Can you let the pilot know that I will be leaving today and that there’s been a change in plans?” I sniffle, using my sleeve to wipe away the tears and my nose. I drive towards the office, where Ashton waits for me in the parking garage. As I exited the car, I ran towards his embrace, feeling safe. He tries his best to comfort me when I tell him that I couldn’t tell him. “I couldn’t, Ash. He seemed so happy and in love that I couldn’t be the bearer of bad news and ruin his relationship. He’ll marry her and she'll get pregnant by the time you know it. One big happy family.” I say with a reassuring smile. He looks at me with sympathy in his eyes, but I also see the anger he feels toward Carter.

“You should have told him, Lea. He needs to be a man and step up. If his new girlfriend has a problem, well, then guess what? Fuck them both.” He spits out with anger in his voice. I give him a look that tells himI’ve decided, and he will not speak of this again. “It’s done, Ash. Not one word about this baby to anyone, especially not him.” I look in his direction holding his gaze. “Promise? Ash, promise me that you will not speak a word. This secret goes to the grave.” I’m begging him to agree. I know he will, but I need to hear him say it.

He looks at me, slightly defeated. “I promise. I promise, Lea, I won’t speak a word about this baby.” He says, and I hug him, thanking him for everything he’s done for me these past few days. We hug one last time before he drives me to pick up my suitcases and from there, he takes me to the private terminal where my flight awaits me. I release a sigh I’ve been holding as he takes my hand and kisses it. Our eyes share a silent goodbye, as this may be the last time he sees me in who knows how long.

“Goodbye, Ash. Thank you for being my friend and the best business partner I could have. But most of all, thank you for everything you have done for me in the past seventy-two hours.” I say, giving him a genuine smile. He pulls me into a hug as he rubs my back in a comforting way.

“This isn't goodbye, Lea. For now, it is, but I'm always one call away, no matter what happens. If you need anything, you or that baby.” He pauses, smiling, looking down at my flat stomach. “Call me. No matter the time, you hear me and best believe I will be calling to hear about my niece or nephew. After all, I will be that baby’s Godfather.” He says, all proud, chuckling at the end. I smile, giving him one last hug and kiss on the cheek. Stepping onto the plane, I close my eyes as I seal this chapter.

Once I return to the States, I head straight for my family home in Granite Springs. My parents are waiting for me, as I had told them I had landed safely and was on my way home. On the car ride home, I smile, looking at the view because, for the first time, I know everything will be okay. My baby will be loved.

As the car pulls up in front of our main gate, I close my eyes and breathe in and out. Opening the car door, I run straight for my mom and dad. I embrace them as I hug them tightly, feeling safe and loved in their arms. I kiss both their cheeks before going to my room to freshen up. As I turn the water on I strip my clothes and enter the shower. The water feels good on my skin and soothes my tired muscles.

I get my navy-blue loofah and pour some of my cucumber green tea body wash. I run the loofah up my neck, around the back of my neck, down my arms, down to my stomach, then make my way down my thighs. I reach in between my thighs as I can feel the heat from my core, and for a second, I go back to the locker room sex me and Carter had. Fuck! Now I’m horny and wet.

I rinse my body wash and finish washing my hair, turning off the water before doing something I might regret… touching myself.

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