Page 9 of Carter

These past few days alone have allowed me to think about my procedure and if I will be going through with it. It’s been about four months since we first met, and I can’t help but feel guilty that I have told him the second reason why I am here. I know I have to be honest with him, especiallyhimbecause I feel that sometimes he wants more than just the no strings attached sex.

Today I am meeting Isabella for lunch, and I can’t wait to see her daughter Eva, the spitting image of Liam with her big gray eyes and blondish hair. Isabella had become a very good friend over the past few months, especially since I had no family and friends when I first arrived in Australia.

As I approach the table, I see Isabella holding little Eva, who turned one not long ago. Speaking of birthdays, that reminds me to get Eva a birthday present for her party this Saturday. “Hey girl, how are you doing?” I say as I’m smiling at little Eva. “I’m fine, just busy planning the party. You're still coming, right?” she questions, handing me her daughter. “Yes, of course, I’m still going. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Lunch was going well, and I enjoyed her company. We talked about the party, my plans for the firm, and the interior design since she will be the one taking over that aspect. Isabella is very talented when it comes to interior design. “So, how are you and Carter?” she says with a hint of concern in her voice.

I looked up at her in confusion as to why her voice would be concerning, as I thought she was happy for us both. But looking at her eyes and face, she can’t hide the worry that flashes them. Honestly, I wouldn’t know how to answer that, seeing as Carter and I have only been on one date technically, but we do meet for lunch every day, and we have had dinner almost every day since the day he showed up at my door with takeout.

“I enjoy his company and everything about him. He’s different from the other boys I have talked to or met in my life. I say boys because they weren’t men”, especially the one who played and used me. I smile at Isabella. “He’s everything you want in a man. He’s handsome, strong, hardworking, respectful, successful, honest, and honestly, he makes me feel wanted and, dare I say, loved.” I say as I continue to smile at her like a lovesick puppy.

Isabella reaches for my hands across the table, holding my hands. She looks at me with concern. She opens her mouth to talk and then closes it, almost as if she doesn’t know if she should say whatever she wants to tell me. “Leandra, you have come to be a very good friend of mine in the past four months. My daughter loves you enough that she considers you an aunt,” she says, laughing a little. “I can’t tell you too much because Carter is my friend, and it’s not my story to tell, but just be careful. Don’t get too attached or fall in love with him. I can see it in your eyes, and it’s probably already too late, but I see how you look at him with hearts. Don’t get me wrong, he also looks at you with the same heart eyes, but I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

You can see tears in Isabella’s eyes, and I honestly don’t know what to say or do. I mean, we all have secrets that we haven’t shared, but what is it that makes her think Carter will hurt me? I’m not stupid. I know falling for him will bring me pain. Love hurts, right? “Hey, look at me, Isabella. I’m not going to lie and say that I’m not a little worried about what you just said. I don’t expect you to tell me his secret and betray his trust. Trust me. I know we are both your friends. You’re right. I can’t sit here and say I don’t have feelings for Carter because I do. But I know I’ve never been in love, so I don’t know if what I feel for Carter is love or not.” I say, trying to hide the sadness and worry I feel deep inside my chest.

We both say our goodbyes.

My drive back to the hotel is filled with possible scenarios of what Carter could be hiding from me. We’ve talked about his parents; I know he’s an only child. I also know that, according to him, he’s been married to the job; therefore, he hasn’t dated much orfound the one. Carter has reassured me that there’s a connection that we can’t deny, and we both feel the sparks when we touch. It’s more than just sex; I know it.

I walk towards the elevator, making my way up to my suite. On my way, I check my phone, and it’s a little after ten, so I text Jess to see if she can talk. I need someone to tell me to stop overthinking and reassure me that Carter isn’t likehim.

Leandra: Jess, can you talk?

Jess: Yes, call me.

I let her know what Isabella told me over lunch and how now I can’t stop thinking that maybe I’m making a mistake. I don’t want to regret everything we have done. Carter isn’t the boy who used and played with my heart. Carter isn’t the book boyfriends I read about, nor is he the assholes in the books who cheat and lie. I call Carter after I finish talking to Jess, and it goes to voicemail. Frustrated with everything, I toss my phone on the bed and prepare to shop for Eva's present.

Picking a little pink dress, a pair of ballet shoes, and a princess doll, I make my way to the cashier to pay for the stuff. As I get into the SUV, my phone rings with an incoming message from Carter asking me if I can meet him in his penthouse. Returning to my suite, I change into a flowery dress before walking to Carter’s penthouse.

As I raise my hand to knock, the door flies open, revealing Carter’s bare chest looking sinfully sexy in only his trousers.

“I’ve missed you, Peach,” he says, pulling me into a hug. I can’t help but smile, hugging him tighter, breathing in his scent.

“I’ve missed you.”

Why haven’t you texted or answered my calls? Stop, Leandra, you have no right. He’s nothim.

But we haven’t had lunch or dinner together the last few days.

Pulling away, he looks at me with concern, almost as if he can read my mind. “Baby, hey, look at me. I’ve been busy, and I didn’t want to bother you. I know you have been busy interviewing potential lawyers and going to your private appointments. I didn’t want to annoy you since we have lunch and dinner every day. I thought you would get annoyed by spending time with me.” he says, looking at me, his eyes begging me to believe him.

“I know we’ve been busy. Just promise me we’ll communicate no matter how busy our schedule gets. I leave for New York on Sunday, and I won’t be back fo—,” I don’t even finish my sentence before he pulls me in for a kiss owning my mouth. I moan into his mouth as he sucks my tongue, nibbling on my lower lip.

Later that night, as I lay in Carter’s arms watching tv, I conclude that I had to be honest with him and tell him my story. I also need to let him know that these private appointments are why I’m here: to get artificially inseminated. I have realized that I was overthinking and getting into my head. He wasn't ignoring me because he got what he wanted. I mean, come on, Leandra, he would have left you when you two had sex all those months ago. Plus, our second official date was everything I wanted, romantic and perfect.

Chapter nine

Carter

When I saw Leandra calling me, I wasn’t sure how to feel after my conversation with Isabella. She came into my office demanding to talk. Isabella saw Leandra leave my penthouse the next day after our last sexual encounter, assuming we slept together in the same bed. We didn’t sleep in the same bed. I took the guest room after we showered together, and I cleaned her.

Isabella’s unsettling glare in her eyes lets me know that whatever I am about to hear, I won’t like. “We need to talk now!” she states as her jaw clenches. “Are you forgetting something, Carter? How can you be so heartless to want to play with her emotions and feelings for you? Because if you haven’t realized it, you both have feelings for each other. Her feelings won’t change, but yours will be when you find a mate.” Isabella questions as she narrows her eyes at me. Her voice was harsh.

I felt beyond confusion and anger. How can she think I will play with her feelings as if I’m only with her for sex? I care about Leandra, and our relationship is more than just sex. We haven’t made it official yet, but these last four months have been some of the happiest of my life. It’s more than sex; I haven’t felt this way for anybody.

“What are you talking about?” I say as I throw my hands out, trying to control the volume of my voice. “You have a mate, Carter. Somewhere out there, you have a mate.” She says, standing her ground. She scoffs at my words and walks around my desk so we are face to face. I continue to look at her before speaking. “Isabella, I don’t know what you're talking about. I’m not playing with Leandra, and it hurts that you think I would do something so low like that. My feelings for Leandra are honest. Don’t you think I know I can’t get attached? I can’t fall in love with her because I have a mate out there. Trust me, I know, and I hate that, even knowing I can’t stay away from her. I care about her more than you know, and our relationship is more than just sex.” I say, feeling hurt.

“I’m sorry I just don’t want to see you or Leandra getting hurt. I know your relationship is more than just sex. I saw you two together at your penthouse after your date.” Her voice is soft and sympathetic. Isabella is looking at me with sadness in her eyes. “We didn’t sleep in the same bed, Isabella. I slept in the guest room. Isabella, you know I love you, but just because whoever I could be with isn’t my mate doesn’t mean I’m incapable of loving them.”

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