Page 13 of Flirt Away

And I eat it, too.

Everything in moderation.

So, I say, have a small slice on your birthday. Or at a wedding. No need to have it every day. Don’t binge. Don’t make excuses. Eat the broccoli too. The point is that we make choices, but we have to make sure they are truly the right ones.

I’m proud of who I am, and yet, part of me is ashamed. Why? Because of some life choices that made me feel like a fraud. And if I’m going to help you navigate the path to loving yourself, your relationships, and your sexuality, then I have to be open and honest with you.

So, I’m going to start with my identity.

I’m not Dew. My name is Dixie Gaynor, and I’m a relationship therapist. I have a private practice and have been working in this capacity for three years. I have a doctorate in psychology and decided to specialize in relationships because I come from a broken home.

She reached over her computer and snagged her wine, downing half of it. Her mentor would have a field day with her revelation.

If she only knew half of what Dixie was about to admit.

Oddly enough, I became involved with a married man. Yes. I know. That is a terrible thing to do. In my defense, I didn’t know he was married. But when I found out, I didn’t end the relationship. I fell for the old ‘I’m going to leave my wife for you’ line.

Something to this day I wish I hadn’t done.

But I can’t go back and change it. I can only learn from it and use how it’s affected me going forward. And truth be told, I’ve allowed it to keep me from being… me. I used it to keep myself in a cycle of self-pity and self-hatred.

This brings me to sex and sexuality.

Before I allowed myself to be in a relationship that all but stole my voice as a woman, I had been searching for the kind of man who would build me up. One who would respect me and want to share my hopes and dreams.

And my sexual desires.

Last week, I had a sexual experience that was not only totally unexpected, but also something that I would never do yet had fantasized about before. The problem is, I took off after, and haven’t spoken with the man since.

Something I need to rectify.

I got in over my head, and while I don’t regret what happened, I do regret running out. Sex, even if it’s a one-night stand or with a stranger, is nothing to be ashamed of, as long as it’s consensual and what you both want.

No matter what you are into, even if it’s being submissive, or a dom/domme, or watching others have sex, or just plain bland style, if it’s what you and your partner enjoy, then it’s the most beautiful and perfect thing in the world.

The key is to be comfortable with yourself.

And your partner.

You need to share with your lover what you desire. If you can’t do that, then do you want to be in that relationship?

On that note, this blog is taking a slight shift. I will still continue with tips regarding relationships and sexuality, but I will be sharing with you my own personal journey as well.

If I ever have one.

Being single and plus-sized is difficult.

Men don’t see me the same way they see a girl who is a size six. I hate to say that, but it’s true.

Granted, the gentleman I had this wicked experience with a few days ago didn’t seem to mind my body, but I must come clean.

He didn’t see me naked.

He got a hand job.

That was all.

It was a really wicked one that left us both breathless, and the circumstances were hot and sexy and like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. It scared me in part because I felt connected to him in such an intimate way, yet I’d just met him.

---