Page 20 of Reckless
And the deep baritone of Theo’s laugh joins me, twisting with mine like a symphony.
“But I’ve also had a lot of concussions. So my judgment could be off,” he adds through the laughter.
I’m just drunk enough, just wrung out enough, that I laugh even harder. “Fuck,” I gasp, sitting up and wiping at my eyes.
“Yeah, you need to give less of those.”
“What?” I reach for the tequila, needing to lubricate my throat after my laughing fit.
“You need to give less fucks.”
I offer an exaggerated shrug and roll my lips together as the alcohol races straight to my bloodstream.
“It’s like this.” Theo reaches out one toned arm, grabs my stool, and tugs it around the small round table. He turns us both. Bringing us face to face, so the outside of my knees presses up against his inner thighs. That spicy citrus scent wraps around me. The urge to lean forward and nuzzle into his neck hits me like a ton of bricks.
We’re too close.
But he doesn’t seem to notice. He just turns and lays his hands flat on his well-built thighs, all ten fingers stretched wide. “Pretend you only have ten fucks to give—”
“Oh, I think I remember this math problem from second grade.”
He ignores my jibe and forges ahead. “And when you run out of fucks, you’re spent. Wrung out. Stretched too thin.”
My eyes roll. “Good god.”
“But you’re out here giving one fuck to your mom about the career you already know you want, giving one to Summer over some slight that she doesn’t seem to know exists, giving at least a few to your husband who makes you miserable.”
He directs a pointed look at me that says he knows that story too. I shrink a little.
“I just watched you give me a fuck over that story, like I’m judging you when I’m not. So, we’re at...”We both peer down at his hands. “You have four fucks left to give and then you’re burnt out.” He’s on a roll now. “I’m pretty sure you gave that bartender a fuck when he had that whole judgy, sour expression on his face after we ordered another round. I mean, come on, Winter. That guy? He just dropped an entire tray of glasses. You’ve only got three now. Why’d you waste one on him?”
I sigh. “This is the stupidest math I’ve ever encountered. And me giving peoplefucks...the way you’re saying it makes me sound...”
His dark brows rise. “Sound what?”
“It sounds like I’m just out fucking people willy-nilly.” I laugh. I have to. “Please don’t say anything about me giving my dad fucks for abandoning me. I’ll never recover.”
“Don’t need to. You just admitted it yourself.”
He folds another finger under and as I watch him, I realize I’m mirroring him. Hands splayed on the expanse of bare skin between my stockings and the edge of my dress, fingers curling every time he ticks off a fuck.
Two fucks stare back at me, one of which sports a simple gold band. I wear it so the diamond Rob bought me doesn’t rip through my medical gloves.
I glance up at Theo. He’s watching me so carefully. His skin is so smooth, so tan. His features so dark. His persona so...fun.
The antithesis of everything in my life.
And suddenly I give a fuck about what he thinks of me too.
I fold another digit down without saying a word. He watches me do it, but his warm hand covers mine, a brush of his calloused fingers on my thigh as he reaches for my ring finger and pulls it out flat.
“Don’t give me that, Winter. I don’t need it. I’m not judging you. And you’re only two fucks away from bottoming out.”
Bottoming out. The inanest pairing of words sends a zing of arousal through my body.Bottoming out. Said with a light growl in his voice while he leans into me so intimately. I cross my legs and squeeze to dull the ache between them.
“God.” I run my hands through my hair, pushing it back tight and away from my face. “Are you telling me you don’t give a fuck what people think of you?”
He shrugs and cants his head in my direction. “I try not to.”
